Homeboys' 'Hood

Econ Lesson

2008-10-20T09:05:00.004-04:00

I don't read Daily Kos. I hear it's ridiculously left-leaning website, so I've stayed away. I'm pretty left-leaning myself (OK, I'm way left of most people), but I take pause when dealing with blatant political bias. Much as I love Michael Moore's work, I don't trust its objectivity. Same goes for Daily Kos.

But someone on an unschooling message board posted a link to an essay on Daily Kos the other day. Thankfully, I took the time to follow the link and read the essay. Entitled Polyphemus, it's an excellent explanation of some of our country's economic history and how it relates to the global economy. Fascinating stuff. I'd comment more, but the author said it all.

Wow. Just... Wow.

2008-10-05T17:44:00.002-04:00

I was just on my local paper's website, investigating rumors that Kendra Wilkinson (one of E!'s Girls Next Door) is not 3 miles from my house. Right. Now. I'm a fan of the show, but not in that gotta-see-the-star kind of way. I'm interested in seeing her simply to satisfy my own curiosity regarding her real level of intelligence (can anyone really be THAT stupid?!). I found nothing helpful about K-Dub's current or expected whereabouts, but I did come across this little nugget.

Go ahead and follow the link. I'll wait.

Now, I know there is a lot of controversy over Gardasil, the HPV vaccine by Merck. I know that a lot of parents are pissed that anyone would even suggest their daughter should be vaccinated against a sexually-transmitted disease at the age of eleven or twelve (yes, I'm sure your daughter will be safe, just as long as your head is completely covered with sand). I also know that the vaccine's potential side effects are scary, and that many people think it's totally unnecessary, even if it is effective. I get all of that.

But what pisses me off is that the government -- a group of thousands of bureaucrats, mind you -- have decided to play doctor. Apparently, the government has weighed the risks (and there are MAJOR risks with Gardasil) and has decided what's best for your child. No, it does not matter if you are uncomfortable with the risk factors; the government is comfy with the numbers, so too bad if your daughter is one of the casualties. Luckily, Virginia is the only state pompous enough to follow the federal government's recommendation and require vaccination of all girls aged twelve and up (and theoretically, this includes homeschoolers). And very luckily, Virginians have big enough mouths and screamed at their Representatives enough to belay that order for another two years.

Immigrants, however, are not so lucky. They are apparently required to get every vaccination on the fed's list of recommendations, whether any individual state agrees and requires the shots or not. And to add insult to injury, the immigrants have to pay for it themselves. The Land of the Free isn't free, my friends. You gotta be rich enough to get in, but then you're gonna be so poor you'll wish you lived in Mexico. I hear rent's cheap there.

No wonder so many immigrants are illegal.

The Great Depression, ver. 2.0 -- Part 2

2008-10-05T11:46:00.004-04:00

To continue our history lesson about the Great Depression, we come now to FDR and his New Deal. As you read this, think about what Robert Kiyosaki (the Rich Dad, Poor Dad guy) would say. What we had then -- as now -- was a stop in the flow of money. What we need now -- as then -- is a way to get the cash moving again. The problem, as I see it, is that the federal government has been living the same way the individual American consumer has been living: on credit.

As a nation, we are in debt up to our eyeballs. Most middle class families now know what that eventually leads to... the proverbial shit hitting the fan. Now that we are, individually, experiencing a financial crisis, how long until we, as a country, suffer the same? 'Cause I hate to say it, folks, but this "crunch" we're feeling now is nothing compared with what's to come if our government doesn't do some serious debt consolidation.

But now read how our financial crisis was handled the first time around:

The Complete Book of United States History
[emphasis and comments mine]

Part 2: Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal

In 1932, it was again time for U.S. citizens to elect a president. The Republicans renominated Herbert Hoover, who had been president since the Great Depression began. The Democrats nominated Franklin Delano Roosevelt, the governor of New York.

Franklin Roosevelt felt that the national government had to start helping Americans who were hurt by the depression. He believed that "To ... unfortunate citizens, aid must be extended by the government -- not as a matter of charity but as a matter of social duty." He promised that if he were elected president, he would help end the depression with "a new deal for the American people."

The American people believed Franklin's promise of a "New Deal." They proved it by electing him president in 1932.

The New Deal: New Agencies, New Laws
March 4, 1933, was a chilly, somber day. It also was the day the Franklin Delano Roosevelt became president of the United States. First, he took the oath of office that every president takes. Then, he made his first speech as president. He said, "This great nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." He also told the American people "this is no unsolvable problem if we face it wisely and courageously."

President Roosevelt did not just talk about change. He acted, too. One of the first things he did was set up a series of new agencies. [someone read "Rich Dad, Poor Dad"] Each of these agencies helped to put unemployed Americans back to work.

One of the agencies President Roosevelt set up was the Works Progress Administration, the WPA. The WPA put the unemployed to work building and repairing bridges, roads, and public buildings; writing guidebooks; and creating murals. The Civilian Conservation Corps, the CCC, was another important agency. It put young, unmarried men to work planting trees, building forest trails, and doing other things that conserved the natural environment. Then, there was the National Youth Administration, the NYA. It offered part-time work for students so they would stay in school.

[I'm not sure that such a plan would work this time around; in fact, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't. How can the government pay workers if the government itself is in debt for over ten trillion dollars? And speaking of the national debt...Where the hell is that surplus we had eight years ago?!]

As you can see, many of the New Deal agencies came to be known by their initials. There were so many that President Roosevelt's government was sometimes called a "government by alphabet." Even the president himself became known as FDR.

Under President Roosevelt, the government also passed a series of laws to help the citizens especially hurt by the depression. For example, to help farmers keep their farms, the Agricultural Adjustment Act set prices on some farm products. To help homeowners keep their homes, the Home Owners Loan Act helped people pay their mortgages. [How were these programs financed? The money has to come from somewhere.]

The Social Security Act of 1935 was another very important new law. It provided the elderly with a monthly pension, or retirement income. It also gave money to the states to help them care for the homeless, the visually handicapped, and other needy Americans.

What the New Deal Did
The New Deal did not end unemployment in the country. Neither did it bring the depression to its knees. However, the New Deal did help Americans believe in America again. It showed that the government has a responsibility to help its citizens when its citizens need help.

The Great Depression ver 2.0 -- Part I

2008-10-02T12:51:00.005-04:00

What do you remember about the Great Depression from school? It happened in the 1930's. People were out of work and homeless. Stock market traders killed themselves after losing fortunes. Kids worked horrible jobs to help the family get by. And that's... well, pretty much it, right?

McGraw-Hill has a textbook, readily available in bookstores, entitled "The Complete Book of United States History" ("for grades 3 to 5"). I would hardly call this a complete history -- only major events are covered, and then not very completely. Still, I like to pull from a wide variety of sources on such objective topics as history, and my boys can only handle textbook information in small doses. The book's come in handy.

I have always believed -- from the first whisperings about the mortgage industry -- that our country cannot possibly continue operating in the way it has without serious ramifications. Our citizens (a/k/a our consumers) cannot keep living off of credit without some kind of consequences at some point. Credit should be for unusual circumstances in which you need more money upfront than you can get, but that you can, over time, repay. It is not for paying bills or buying stuff that you can't outright afford.

Alas, the shit is hitting the fan for many Americans.

So, while looking through my "Complete History" last night, searching for information about Jamestown and the Revolutionary era to share with the boys, I glanced at the book's unit entitled "A Time of Troubles." I knew there were similarities between what caused the Great Depression and what our country is facing now, but I hadn't realized just how many similarities there are. It's frightening. What's more frightening is trying to envision John McCain coming up with a modern New Deal or WPA. But I digress.

I'm going to post the relevant text from the book here (in parts) with occasional personal comments. Mostly, though, I just want you to read what happened in the 20's and 30's. Think about it. Comment if you feel compelled, or post your opinions on your own blog -- but at least think about it.

The Complete Book of United States History
[comments and emphasis mine]
Unit 9: A Time of Troubles -- Part 1

"The Great Depression"
In every economy, there are good times and there are bad times. A good time is called a boom. A bad time is sometimes called a depression.

The 1920s seemed like a boom time. [like the 1990s and early 2000s] But, times were not booming for everyone. New inventions helped increase the amount farmers could produce. However, farmers produced so much, that the prices of some crops dropped. This meant that, although farmers produced more, they often made less money. So, many farmers did not share in the boom of the 1920s.

During the 1920s, some people made a lot of money, but most did not. Those who wanted to buy things began buying on credit. That is, they gave some money at the time they made the purchase. Then, every month, they made a payment until the item was paid for.

People also began spending a lot of money to buy stocks. A stock is a share in the ownership of a company. People watched as stock prices doubled during the 1920s. They wanted a share of that wealth, too. For the same reason, many banks and businesses also bought stocks during this time.

The Stock Market Crashes
In October 1929, stock prices began to drop. They dropped again and again. On October 24, 13 million shares of stock were sold. On October 29, 16 million shares changed hands. Many, many people wanted to sell their stocks, but few wanted to buy. This caused the prices of stocks to drop even more. People were forced to sell their stocks for much less than the original prices. The people, businesses, and banks with money invested in the stock market lost a fortune that October.

In addition, businesses now found that no one had money to buy their products. To stay in business, they often had to fire workers. Other businesses had to close. By 1933, almost one of every four American workers had no job. Many who were still employed had to take pay cuts or work fewer hours.

Banks, too, were in deep trouble. Many people who had borrowed money from the banks now couldn't pay back that money. In the next few years, thousands of banks were forced to close their doors. People who had accounts in those banks lost all their savings.

Usually, depressions last for a year or two. [That's comforting...] The depression that began in 1929 lasted for over a decade. [...but that's not.] In fact, it lasted so long and was so bad that to this day, it is known as the "Great Depression."

During the Great Depression, thousands of families lost their homes, because they couldn't make their mortgage payments. All over the country, shantytowns sprang up where people built shelters from flattened tin cans and cardboard or car bodies or anything else they could find. Many called these shack cities [like the one outside of Las Vegas] "Hoovervilles," because they felt that President Herbert Hoover was partly to blame for their condition. [Um, "Bushvilles?"]

People who didn't have jobs found there were no jobs to be had. Some became shoe shiners. Others sold apples on city streets. Still they starved. America was full of scenes such as the one a woman witnessed in a Chicago alley: "One vivid, gruesome moment of those dark days we shall never forget," she said. "We saw a crowd of some fifty men fighting over a barrel of garbage outside the back door of a restaurant. American citizens fighting for scraps of food like animals!"

The President Responds
Herbert Hoover was president during this time. He didn't believe the national government should help the people. He argued that in times like these, it was the responsibility of individuals to look after their neighbors. What individuals couldn't do, the local or state governments should do. The national government -- at least as long as Herbert Hoover was president -- would give aid only as a "last resort." According to the president, that time of "last resort" didn't come during his presidency. As a result, the national government offered little aid to the nation's overwhelmed states, cities, and citizens.

A Shameful Story

One of the darkest days of the Great Depression happened in Washington, D.C., near the Capitol Building, where Congress meets. In the summer of 1932, fifteen thousand World War I veterans straggled into Washington. They were part of perhaps two million men who had lost almost everything since the depression began.

As veterans of the war, they were holders of bonus certificates. These certificates were to mature, or reach their full worth, in 1945. The veterans hoped to talk Congress into letting the certificates mature in 1932.

Congress voted not to advance the bonus money. So, most of the veterans went back to their home states. About two thousand, though, stayed in Washington. Many of these men had no homes they could return to. They set up places to live in a shantytown they built near the Capitol Building.

President Hoover worried that the two thousand veterans in the nearby shantytown might become violent. Plus, their presence was embarrassing to him. So, he told the U.S. Army to make the veterans leave the area.

On July 28, 1932, Chief of Staff Douglas MacArthur ordered the Army to scatter the veterans. Troops armed with tear gas, tanks, guns, and bayonets forced out the desperate, hopeless men, women, and children of the "Bonus Army." Then, the Army burned the shacks of their shantytown.

Later, General MacArthur defended his actions. He said that the veterans were a bunch of "riotous elements." Regardless of what he said, many Americans were furious with his and President Hoover's treatment of people who had faithfully served their country during World War I. The Washington News spoke for many when it said, "What a pitiful spectacle is that of the great American Government, mightiest in the world, chasing unarmed men, women, and children with Army tanks. ... If the army must be called out to make war on unarmed citizens, this is no longer America."

Many Americans had become frustrated with President Hoover's failure to end the depression. Many, too, were horrified by his treatment of the veterans in Washington. A cry went out for new leadership for this difficult times.

Next, Part 2: Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal

Texbooks, Shmextbooks

2008-09-23T11:41:00.004-04:00

In an article (published in 2004 and now found here), entitled "Why Textbooks Stink," Kathy Ceceri gives an eye-opening account of how textbooks come to be written. I was more than a little disturbed to read this paragraph:

"Parents and citizens groups regularly call for changes in textbooks reflecting particular political or religious views, and many times, they succeed. One hundred years after the Scopes Monkey Trial, opposing sides are still waging the evolution-creation fight. ([Harvard science professor and evolution expert Stephen Jay] Gould, who often testified on behalf of teaching evolution, wondered why his son’s high school biology textbook invited students to “investigate other theories” when he never saw similar invitations to, for instance, check out levitation as an alternative to the theory of gravity.) In November 2004, CBS News reported a group of parents were suing a school district in Georgia which had added stickers that said "Evolution is a theory, not a fact,” to biology textbooks at the earlier insistence of other parents. The same story noted that the State Board of Education in Texas exerted pressure on publishers to change the wording in their health textbooks to specify that marriage was a lifelong union between a man and woman, an issue of debate in many parts of the country."

Seriously?! Homophobia aside, even if you are simply defining it in a legal sense, marriage is hardly "lifelong." And Mr. Gould's point is spot on: I see no one proposing that we theorize other reasons for Earth's orbit around the sun or Old Faithful's promptness.

But I was particularly pleased to read this paragraph:

"[Textbook editor and writer Tamim] Ansary would like to see states get rid of the textbook adoption process altogether, and let teachers pull together their own classroom resources instead relying on a single text. He envisions teachers supplementing a mini-encyclopedia reference core with related fiction and nonfiction books, board games, software and hands-on materials like maps or models that would make the subject come alive (similar to the way many homeschoolers design their own curricula without textbooks). Ansary believes that letting schools pick and choose the elements of from different, smaller publishers would encourage competition by smaller companies and increase diversity, instead of stifling it."

Uhh... yeah! Why are students (and their teachers) in schools expected to all learn from these same, terrible textbooks? Why is pulling information from varied and interesting resources such a revolutionary idea?

And why -- WHY -- do people think that home educators should aspire to using the same resources as the schools? That seems to be a great concern among the detractors I've spoken with: where will I get my textbooks? Or tests? Oh, don't get me started on that one.

My kids have learned history through dress-up, games, stories, and role-playing. I doubt they could tell you what year Caligula was assassinated (though they can Google it, if you really need to know), but they can tell you all about his insanity, as well as what life was like for the average Roman citizen during his tyranny. They've also seen how a simple salt mixture mummifies flesh, how paint becomes part of a wall in the fresco process, and why trebuchets fling farther than catapaults, which fling farther than onagers.

Anyone can look up information these days, and even a young child can look up false information. It takes hands-on learning and interest-based reading to get to the meat of the matter, to really understand the reasons for scientific principles or historical events, and to be able to glean from this knowledge how to move us all forward.

Totally Selfish Wish List

2008-09-22T12:29:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking about Christmas a lot lately. Mostly, I've been thinking how the hell are we going to buy anyone anything?!?!

And in the true spirit of an American Christmas, I've also been thinking about the stuff I'd love to have for myself or my family, if money fell from the sky onto all our friends and family. Assuming, of course, that it misses us: if we had our own money, I'd buy this shit right now and wouldn't have to ask anyone for any of it for Christmas.

On to my list:

For Aengus: a real drum set and unlimited participation in soccer, fencing, and flag football for the year. And a pet penguin. And a pool -- to house the penguin, of course.

For Noah: A violin, recording equipment, his own computer, a good stereo, a room makeover, several new guitars, and a year of fencing lessons. Oh, and a gas card (to pay for all those trips to see his girlfriend).

For the whole family: An Xbox 360 (with games and all peripherals, plus a headset, subscription, etc. for online play), membership to museums around Virginia, a gas card to get us to all the museums in Virginia, a camcorder!!!!, a year's membership to the community center, a weekend in D.C., a trip to the beach, a weekend in Williamsburg, a camping/fishing trip, and a new entertainment system (a CD/DVD player, radio, maybe even a TV -- and speakers that emit sound).

For Jason: R/C helicopter supplies. And clothes. That boy still wears the old-man clothes he's had since 1992. And maybe a tan.

For me: A community center membership for the family, instruments for the kids, a camcorder, fabric to recover my deck furniture, a laptop that works, an occasional meal at a restaurant that does not have a drive-thru, a few days in NYC to see Equus, a month or two (or more) in -- well, pretty much all of Europe (hell, throw the Middle East in there, too). And a haircut. I cannot maintain my hotness with this god-awful soccer-mom bob.

So, what's on your totally selfish, if-I-could-have-anything Christmas list?

2008-08-19T08:15:00.003-04:00

I'm trying hard to think of a post for my other blog. But what did my kids do yesterday? I know they learned something, I just can't put my finger on anything educational. Aengus wasn't really here much, though I know he did a lot on his camping trip. I can certainly come up with something for him. It's Noah I'm worried about.

What did he do yesterday? What does he do any day? All I can think of is what he doesn't do. He doesn't read, he doesn't write, he doesn't work on any math; he doesn't even watch educational TV anymore. He plays his guitar (good) and Runescape (good, but I think he's gotten about as much out of it educationally as he can). He watches videos on YouTube (I think a lot of music videos, so that's good) and emails his friends (OK, so that's socialization and writing).

I guess I've answered my own question: he actually is doing stuff. But it's what he doesn't do that has me concerned. I feel he should know more about history, should be able to express ideas on paper in a somewhat coherent and organized fashion, should be able to manipulate numbers beyond multiplication and division.

But all that will come in time, I suppose. Wait it out, Adesa. Every time I've gotten worried about academics in the past, it's always been a matter of waiting for his interest and maturity to catch up to my goals for him. And eventually, it all kicks in.

Wait it out, Adesa.

For now, what we need to work on is his work ethic. I'm very concerned that he's learned about the value of work from his mother, who never met an excuse she didn't like. I jokingly refer to him as "Half-Ass Hafford," but... well, the name fits. Not his fault, like I said: he learned it all from me. But I'm really getting worried that what was just a habit is becoming Who He Is. And no matter what he does with his life, he'll need to work hard at it. Motivation he can find on his own; determination must be cultivated.

I think that this is one of those dilemmas that all parents face, unschooling or not: to change (mold? guide?) our children or let them be who they are, despite the potential problems we see? To what extent do I try to step in and affect this path he's on? He is who he is, and I respect that. I don't want to impose my own ideas on him. And I really don't want him to get the message that he's not good enough just they way he is. I love him completely, lazy or not.

But I also don't want him to be a 30-year-old man who lives with his mom because he can't keep a job. Even worse, I don't want his future family to suffer financially (the way we have) because I didn't teach him better habits.

But how does a lazy person teach industriousness?

Beach Volleyball Bitch

2008-08-14T09:01:00.012-04:00

The males in my house don't understand why I'm so upset. Every time I see beach volleyball, I rant and rave about the injustice of it all.

Exhibit A: The men's uniform.

Exhibit B: The Women's uniform.

Am I really the only one who can see what's wrong here?! And on top of all the blatant objectification apparently ingrained in this sport the world over, the Olympics even added "cheerleaders" to the volleyball venue:

Sheesh. Guess we haven't come such a long way, have we?

I just LOVE this kid!

2008-08-11T12:08:00.003-04:00

My darling, innocent, wide-eyed angel has been building with Legos all morning. Why tell us this on this blog and not the family-friendly, education-oriented blog, you ask? Aren't Legos an unschooler's wet dream?

Well, yes they are. But wait 'til you hear what he was building:

A bar. A BAR! Complete with bartender, drinks, and patrons. I'll have to ask if one of those patrons is Mom... God help us if the bartender's him!

Attention, NBC

2008-08-10T10:07:00.004-04:00

Your programming of the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing SUCKS ASS. Sure, you posted the schedule of all the fencing matches on your website. You got us all psyched up to watch it live, then you proceeded to broadcast soccer, field hockey and hand-fucking-ball instead.

We didn't complain (much) when you didn't broadcast the women's sabre (even though a homeschooler took the bronze and the US swept the event for the first time ever), because we thought for sure you'd show the men's events. We woke up early because your website said the quarterfinals would take place at 7:10am -- nothin' but handball. OK, we thought, semifinals at 7:20 -- nope, field hockey. Finals at 8am? Hah.

We've given up on you, NBC. You may advertise that you have the most complete coverage ever, but it still sucks. Why can't you, in two-thousand-frickin'-eight, make the events "on demand"? Why can't we go to our TV's menu, select a sport, then watch it? Why is this so difficult? My God, teenagers can download porn right to their phones while they're sitting in class, but do you think we can watch a little fencing?!

What is particularly sad is that your programming in general, NBC, has been on the slide ever since Friends went off the air. From the looks of your fall line-up, there isn't much hope for the near future, either. Your Olympics coverage was the one bright feather left on the Peacock... til you fucked it up.

So is the Peacock now bald... or is it just dead? If the team fencing isn't broadcast, I'm declaring a DNR on the bird and never coming back to the networks.

Six Things Meme

2008-08-09T20:05:00.003-04:00

I done been tagged, and I think this one's a good meme. It could keep me writing for hours! ;o) I won't be tagging anyone else, since I don't know too many bloggers, but feel free to jump in!

Steph says I should tell the people 6 things they don't know about me. Just six, Steph?

1) I share Steph's phone phobia. It's not a fear so much as an extreme discomfort. Much like poor money management skills, I believe this phone repulsion is a closeted characteristic with which many people suffer, and it needs to be addressed, publicly, once and for all. We who suffer from it must swallow our embarrassment, raise our keyboards, and SHOUT through the blogoshphere that we will no longer be shamed by our inexplicable avoidance of today's accoutrement of choice.

2) My mother's main goal for my upbringing was for me to graduate high school without becoming pregnant. To that end, she refused to discuss birth control ("You will NOT have sex"), and I ended up with a near miss. Whoever is in charge here knew I couldn't step up to that kind of responsibility, and I had a miscarriage. But I was so woefully undereducated about all things sexual that I had to ask my mother what was happening to me. Oy. That was NOT a fun conversation.

3) I pick. At my kids, my husband, at anyone who disagrees with me. At my nails, at my scabs, at a spot on the wall or a thread on the sofa. Can't just let anything GO.

4) I secretly yearn for an encounter with another man. I have several in mind, none of whom would hold a candle to my own husband, but still... it's my one fantasy.

Want the list? Here goes: Dan from high school (OK, he might actually make a good life partner), Mark the Marine (I'll tell you that story another time), Dan Radcliffe (but only if he's scruffy and his hair is zhoozhed, like on the Details magazine cover), Hunter Parrish (Silas on Weeds... I am LOVING the storyline with him and the neighbor boy's mom!!!), and Drake Bell (holy hell, get me away from children's programming already!).

5) As the above list testifies, I have been experiencing a bit of a mid-life crisis. How long are these things supposed to last, anyway? It's been about six years now, and I'm ready for it to be over. And by over, I mean "twenty-seven again."

6) Back when Jason and I were first living together, we were dirt poor. I know, I know: you'd think that after almost twenty years together, we'd have made some progress. Ah, but we have! Because back then, when we needed cash, we visited the priest at the Catholic church in the city. For forty bucks -- cold, hard cash, straight outta the collection plate -- all Jason had to do was take off his glasses and pretend he was watching Father John masturbate. With some other young guys, since an audience of one was not enough, I guess.

Us girls? We got to eat the cookies leftover from Sunday School. Good deal all around.

Luckily, it's been a LONG time since we've been that poor. But in case gas prices don't come down anymore... Do any of you know of any clergymen with unfulfilled needs?

No, Really!

2008-08-09T13:02:00.003-04:00

Nothing like screaming about being "back," then disappearing for a month, eh?

Sorry, folks, just a few technical difficulties. It's called "buying a Toshiba laptop," and it can sink an internet experience faster than you can say "they even had to cut their warranties to just 6 months."

But I'm not bitter.

Luckily, I have many wonderful, generous people in my life. I had several offers for computer donations and am currently blogging from my first-ever iMac.

I'm still not sure in what ways a Mac differs from a PC. So far, I've found the differences to be pretty subtle, along the lines of what you might find when comparing different versions of the same Windows program.

But none -- NONE -- of my software is compatible with this machine. Erg. What we sacrifice for our children, eh? Because you see, we took our friend up on her offer for the Mac because Noah can now download Apple's Garage Band, the music editing software that musicians everywhere claim is da shit. Here's hoping it's all they say it is.

Cheers!

I'm Baaaack...

2008-07-08T14:29:00.003-04:00

I've been blogging a LOT, just not here. ;o) I've been trying to log the boys' freeform learning according to school subjects over at Xanga , with a fair amount of regularity. But there are some topics that aren't relevant to that blog or that I don't want my mom reading. ;o) So I've kept this blog very separate, but that meant I didn't get over here much. That's about to change.

I've had many occasions over the last few months on which I'd had a lot of thoughts, but I never put them down. I'm on a mission to change that. I look forward to hearing from anyone who reads this, though I'm guessing my audience will be way low. I hope you all enjoy my ranting.

Cheers!

Video Gaming

2008-04-15T13:45:00.003-04:00

We've been struggling with the video game question lately. And by "we" I mean me, of course.

Noah's use of games has always been what I would call educational, and what the media would call edutainment. That is to say, he's always played games that were learning disguised as a game or were games requiring a lot of thought.

But Aengus has really gotten into gaming lately, and not at all the same kind as Noah. Aengus prefers those first-person shooting and destruction games. It totally fits with his personality: the Transformer smashing up cars on the screen might as well be him. And though I see a little "educational value" in such games, I really have a hard time being OK with the hours a day he spends playing them.

There is an excellent post here (http://zajosa.blogspot.com/2008/04/problem-when-parents-think-childs.html), written by an unschooled teen. In it, Zach expresses the difficulty his relationship with his mother faced when she not only limited the amount of time he could spend on his favorite hobby, but also did not share in the excitement of his interest. He also vocalizes (rather succinctly) exactly how I feel about video games: namely, that they are misunderstood and undervalued by older generations.

Just when I felt at peace with a parenting issue, Aengus came along and shook up my views. Something tells me this won't be the last time he does that. ;o)

Growing Up in the 'Hood

2008-04-07T11:40:00.006-04:00

I referred to Aengus as a "big boy" today.

He said, "I'm not a big boy."

"Sure, you are. You're not a man, but you're not a little kid, either."

"Noah's a man," came his reply.

sniff. "Yeah, I guess he is." sniff.

"Well, almost," he said. "He can't drive yet, or drink beer."
___________________________________________________

I started a new blog, over at Xanga. That will be my learning log of sorts, appropriate for my extended (and long distance) family to view. As opposed to this blog, where I occasioanlly insult them. ;o)

Our, uh, Typical Day

2008-04-05T10:26:00.004-04:00

We had another amazing day on Wednesday, full of LOTS of "learning activities." Aengus and I repacked our mummy-in-progress, played outside a lot, made a model of the Nile River, and discussed Egypt, climate, and archaeology. Noah and I watched Episode 2 of John Adams, with quite a bit of discussion.

Noah's quote of the day (after a nice, long talk about empathy, government, and recycling): "You know, Mom, it's kinda cool talking about this stuff with you." {awww!}

My response: "Yeah, that's one of my favorite things about you being a teenager; you talk to me like I'm a person, not a mom."

And Aengus's quote of the day? "You know that place where you get to pick what you learn about?"

"Umm, college?"

"Yeah, college. Can you learn about juggling there?"
____________________________________________

A more typical day for us, though, does not include so many recognizably-educational activities. What follows is not a particular day's schedule but is a general accounting of how most days (that don't have outside activities scheduled) seem to run in the 'Hood.

5:45am - I'm up, I'm up, I'm UP. Coffee. Feed cats. Let dogs out. Shower. Coffee. Dress. Straighten up. Coffee. Email. Webkinz. Coffee. Oh yeah, the dogs -- let dogs back in. Feed dogs.

7:00 - Aengus stumps downstairs, turns on the Playstation, and requests cereal.

7:10 - Daycare kids arrive (two of them: a 19-month-old that I keep all day and his 7-year-old brother that I see onto and off of the bus).

Aengus and the older daycare kid play Battlefront for a little bit, then we all march outside to wait for the bus.

The dogs enjoy their morning constitution and a bit of wrestling. Oh, to be a dog.

7:37 - After the bus gets Chris, we head back inside for the toddler's breakfast and more coffee (for me, that is).

Aengus usually returns to his game or switches on cartoons.

I continue working on the computer, checking blogs and email, updating the NLSV calendar, seeing if there's any new Harry Potter news, yada yada yada.

Jason goes to bed.

8:30 - After a bit of play and a fresh diapie, Kane goes down for his nap. I play Cash Cow like any good mother would (to earn Kinz cash, of course!). I make Aengus and I each an egg sandwich and have some more coffee. I do the dishes and see to any other chores.

The rest of the morning is spent on the computer or with a book or magazine. Aengus enjoys way too much TV and/or PS2. At some point I make him get dressed (out of yesterday's clothes, because of course he wore them to bed last night) and wash up for the day. He snacks independently all morning, then starts asking for lunch aroun 11am.

Noon - I make lunch for Aengus. We play a game together, usually something like chess or Dragonology or Tickle Monster (this one's too noisy for times when Noah and Jason are asleep, though). Some days we do something edutypical like a Story of the World activity or something from Top Secret Adventures. Usually, though, we turn on the Discovery Channel and see what Adam and Jamie are up to or, if we're lucky, whether the Cash Cab contestants go for the Video Bonus.

Some time after noon (it varies greatly from day to day), Noah graces us with his groggy presence. He pours himself some coffee and commandeers the computer. Somehow, he perks up after just ONE cup of coffee. For the next 2 hours, he'll play on Runescape, check his email, and look up music videos. At some point he'll run upstairs to get one of his guitars; I'm researching whether there is a correlation between the guitar he chooses and the mood he's in. I'll get back to you on that.

Aengus spends the early afternoon playing by himself, either outside (you'd be amazed how many duct-taped sticks we have in our yard) or up in his room (making "magazines," writing in his journal in his own made-up language, playing with his stuffed animals, counting his money, duct-taping his plastic swords, organizing his YuGiOh cards, etc.)

Kane takes another nap in the afternoon, while I putter around the house.

3:30pm - Aengus (or sometimes Noah) goes outside to wait for the school bus. Now we've got Chris and another daycare kid, a socially-challenged 6-year-old boy. Chris and Aengus play outside, usually riding scooters up and down the driveway. Travis tries racing them on our little toddler bike, gets frustrated that they won't let him win, then comes inside to play with the Thomas the Tank Engine trains with me and Kane.

Jason wakes up, makes a pot of coffee, and smokes a cigarette.

Noah finally showers, then starts hassling me about when the next time is that we'll be going into town. That's where the guitar shop is, you see.

I hop online throughout the day as I'm able to. I research homeschooling stuff, take care of NLSV business, check email and lists, look up cool sites, etc. Sometimes I have time for more Webkinz. ;o) I return phone calls, pay bills, whatevah.

4:30 - Daycare kids get picked up. Thank. God. They're all nice kids, but they're not mine, and I've spent the afternoon watching the clock. I start wondering if I have anything thawed out that I can make for dinner. If Jason has to work, it's time to go.

5:00 - I finally decide on something quick and easy and vow to really cook something tomorrow.

Aengus starts up with his "play with me" mantra, and I send him off to clean up a bit. So of course he goes back to the TV.

Noah is playing his guitar and looking new tabs up on the web. I throw a few suggestions his way. "What about the Clash? Misfits? Ramones?" He gets a few chores done, then returns to the computer.

Jason showers and watches Discovery Channel with Aengus. We all eat dinner in front of the TV, usually finding some really cool new shows. I start to harp on Noah about doing something academic.

6:00 - I do chores, Jason does chores, Aengus watches TV or plays Legos, and Noah reads or "does schoolwork." Around here, that means a lesson from HippoCampus or some kind of math worksheet. It's supposed to also mean writing in his journal, doing some grammar worksheets, and/or reading something historical.

7:00 - Stick a fork in me. Whether the house is cleaned up or not (usually not), I plop down for some Hollywood news and Friends. Sometimes we all watch a history show or a movie together. And sometimes, if it's still light out, Jason takes the boys outside to do yard work or fly remote control planes.

8:00 - Time for Aengus to get ready for bed, though the actual bedtime is flexible. Sometimes it's as late as 9pm, depending on the TV schedule. But since he still gets up at the same time every day, I try to stick close to this bedtime. Once he starts sleeping in as needed, he'll have the same schedule as Noah, I'm sure.

Jason switches from the Discovery or History Channel to DIY, Military, or Science Channel.

Noah is on the computer with his guitar in hand (almost always an electric one by now).

I'm folding laundry or paging through a magazine while watching TV. American Idol, Daily Show and Colbert Report, History Channel, a movie, Lost, Girls Next Door... you name it. Background noise that keeps my brain busy.

10:00 - Bedtime for me. Noah stays up half the night; Jason's up all night. Noah does the dishes, cleans up his stuff, and is in bed anywhere between 1 and3:30am.
______________________________________________

Most of our days spent at home are like that. But most of our days aren't spent at home. We have Homeschool P.E., our fUNschool co-op, play dates, guitar lessons, fencing, and Science Club. On those days, far less of our time is eaten up by electronics.

But I have to say that I'm OK with some of our days being just like the above; it is amazing what's on TV these days. We learn so much from TV that I consider the time spent in front of the screen to be "school time." My only reservation is the lack of physical activity, which I really do try to include in our lives each day.

So.... What's your "typical day" like?

What a Day!

2008-04-01T08:35:00.004-04:00

Amazing how we have leaps in interest and understanding. We do very little structured "schoolwork" around here, except for the occasional Hippo Campus lesson and sometimes a writing exercise or two. We're mostly unschoolers, though, and our days are consumed by TV (Nick, HBO, and Discovery and History Channels ROCK!), the internet (mostly Runescape and Webkinz), and music (all of us listening and Noah playing).

As an experiment, I purchased the CAT test for Noah. He's been test-averse in the past, so giving it to him was simply to see how he'd handle it. No pressure, no expectations.

Well. We've had the test for weeks now. He did the first section (20 questions, 10 minutes) and was pleasantly surprised how easy it was. We managed to knock out two more sections within two weeks. (Yes, I know most people do the whole thing in a day or two. Have I mentioned before how very relaxed we are around here?)

Along came Easter and a visit to family in PA, followed by a visit from my mom (that's a whole 'nother post), a big field trip, and some sleepovers. Needless to say, we're not quite back into the let's-do-a-little-more-structured-work-and-see-where-it-gets-us mode. We're still in the who-the-hell-cares-whether-we-adhere-to-their-timeline-and-who-says-we're-not-learning-anyway mode. Frankly, I could stay there all the time, but Noah did say he wanted a bit more structure. Maybe it's about time to at least finish the test, I figured.

As Noah and I sat down to review fractions and do another section of the CAT, I was distracted by a little book I had ordered about a month ago. It's a pocket-sized copy of the US Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. It's put out by a fundamentalist group, so it has some rather religious quotes by some of the Founding Fathers. But it has the exact text of the original documents, including the Amendments.

WELL.

I asked Noah if he'd ever read the Constitution or Declaration. He hadn't, of course. I noted to him that were he in school, he'd have to memorize the Preamble of the Constitution and possibly the entire Declaration.

"Good thing I'm not in school," came his witty reply.

So I read him the Preamble and paraphrased the remainder of the Constitution. Funny, the Preamble seemed much, much longer when *I* was in school -- and trying to memorize it.

Anyhoo, I then started reading the Amendments. We spent -- no lie -- HOURS discussing them. Jason (yeah, he was actually there, for once) and I would explain an Amendment or give Noah the historical background or reason for it, and we had a lively little talk about each. It was fantastic!

Then I read the complete Declaration of Independence to him. Now, do you remember what all the grievances against King George were? I urge each and every one of you to go back and read the Declaration in its entirety. Then come back here and riddle me this: Could each of these grievances not be also said by the Iraqis regarding King George Dubya? It was an eye-opening experience reading the Declaration. It was wonderful to hear Noah interject, "But wait, isn't that what we're doing to Iraq?"

He thinks I was joking, but I think our next exercise in writing is going to be a paper or blog that compares, line by line, 18th-century Britain's actions in the Colonies with 21st-century America's actions in the Middle East.

After this wonderful discussion, we turned to HBO On Demand to watch the first episode of John Adams. (Pause for review: Though well done and fascinating, I wish it were more than a miniseries. I'd like to see each of these men's points of view, not just Mr. Adams's. Personally, I think it should be a full-on series about the founding of our country and the formation of our government. Westward Expansion included.) Noah thought it was good, though I had to explain a few things along the way (they hint at additional actions taking place elsewhere in the country that the general public should already know. Noah needed a running commentary). Today, episode two, in which the Declaration is signed.

That was enough for one day, I figured, so we skipped both fractions and the CAT. My head hurt, and Noah HAD to get his guitar on.

Later, when I was about to close my eyes for the night, a show I had discussed with a friend came on HBO. It's called Autism: The Musical, and I highly recommend it.

Now, I'll never know what it's like to have a child with Autism. I know a few "Auties," so I catch glimpses. But I had no idea just how challenging it must be. But those kids were absolutely beautiful and amazing. I wish the world would look at them and see the person inside, because they are most *definitely* in there. My favorite comment was from the mother of Lexi, who said that her daughter "is different, not wrong."

Indeed.

All in all, it was quite a day. Noah got about a semester's worth of civics, in a non-threatening, relevant, interesting, and respectful way. It was exactly the kind of homeschool I want for my kids. (We'll ignore the fact that he's been working on the same book since October and is only halfway finished.)

Off to check the progress of the chicken Aengus and I are trying to mummify...

Billie Jean

2008-03-27T11:53:00.001-04:00

See if this one works better...

Tell me this isn't amazing! WAAAYYYY better than MJ.

2008-03-21T07:54:00.001-04:00

2008-03-07T17:05:00.001-05:00

This is Homeschool

2008-02-07T08:10:00.001-05:00

Day 2

2007-12-20T13:16:00.000-05:00

Well, I didn't exactly stick to my diet yesterday. But I did do pretty well, especially considering it was our co-op's Mom's Christmas Party last night. Lots of yummy food and alcohol to tempt me. Don't get me wrong; I definitely blew the diet. Big time. But not as badly as I usually do. And as someone always looking for the silver lining, I'm holding on to that thought.

I didn't exercise yesterday, nor did I get up early to run today (I was at a party last night, remember?). But now the exercise mat and the handweights are out, so I've made progress, right? RIGHT?!

Resolution

2007-12-19T08:07:00.001-05:00

The hell with New Year's. The hell with starting on Monday. I'm going on a diet now -- today, this moment. I mean it this time!

A few years ago I joined a gym, stuck to a diet/fitness routine, and lost about 20 pounds. More importantly, I felt terrific. I never quite reached my goal, but I felt hot.

Then I gained about 8 pounds last holiday season, fell out of my routine, and eventually had to quit the gym. As a result, those 8 pounds? They're still with me. A year later, and I've not shed one damn pound!

Now, I know I'm thinner than a lot of moms, and many people would say, "Shut up, bitch" if they heard me complaining. But we all have body-image issues, right? I'm frustrated: I never made it to my goal in the first place, plus I feel like crap now. I'm frustrated because I know I can do it, since I've done it before. I'm mad at myself for slacking off.

And you know, I'm not getting any younger. If I want to have any chance of being a MILF, I've got to act now! Regardless of how I looked when I was exercising, I felt great; I miss that feeling. I'm probably close to the same size as I used to be, but that's not what it's about. It's about feeling saggy and sloppy and lethargic and old, when I know how to feel strong and sexy and young.

So, beginning today -- right now -- I'm back on the old routine. I might not have my beloved elliptical machine (though I'd take one off of anyone's hands!), but I've got handweights and an exercise band and FitTV and sneakers. I'm cutting back on carbs (which is the vast majority of what I eat), writing down every bite, taste, and lick, and counting my points.

I'm losing 5 pounds by Christmas no matter how little I feel like getting off the sofa. I will not wait for Monday or New Year's or any other date in the future. I'm taking action NOW, dammit.

So far today: I put on my jeans and they're tight. Ugh. Ate one egg (fries with spray, not butter or margarine). Drank a pot of coffee. Any diet that cuts caffeine is quack science, IMHO. I haven't exercised yet, but my foam mat is out and ready for me. It's been out for 2 weeks now, but let's ignore that fact.

I'd say so far, so good. Eight-thirty and only 2 points. I'll let you know how things look at eight-thirty tonight.

Who's with me?

Call the Optometrist

2007-12-18T08:38:00.000-05:00

Aengus and I were watching the Transformers movie the other day. Again. It's a really good movie, but I've seen it enough, thank you.

Now, Aengus is a tough little guy. He rarely cries, unless he's really hurt. Every now and then he'll get upset enough, though, that he has an episode of what he calls his "eye problem." This is when his eyes "inexplicably" tear up, even though he's just fine.

"I don't know why my eyes do that, Mom. They just do. It's not like I'm crying or anything."

Yeah, ok, tough guy. Whatever.

So we're watching this movie, and at the point when Aengus's favorite guy (Bumblebee) is taken down, Aengus usually turns away or leaves the room or is suddenly very interested in whatever happens to be in his hands. It's a sad scene, done in slo-mo with mournful music. But he's a robot, for chrissake.

This time, Aengus stays on the sofa, watching intently as Bumblebee fights for his life. He catches me watching him wiping his eyes and says, "It's my eye problem again."

"It sure is sad when Bumblebee gets caught, isn't it?"

"Yeah. But he doesn't die, at least."

"If a person felt sad enough to cry about it, though, that would be OK. In fact, the director would be happy about that, since that is what he's trying to do: get you so involved in the movie that it really touches you."

"Yeah. But I don't cry. I just have this eye problem."

Sigh. Where did this kid come from?

Cult of Personality

2007-11-13T09:51:00.000-05:00

Wow. For an online quiz -- which asked questions in a way that made me wonder just how accurate it could possibly be -- this one was eerily on-target. From the site [emphasis mine]:

"INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to most anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves." - INTP Profile (TypeLogic)

"The INTP is above all a thinker and his inner (private) world is a place governed by a strong sense of logical structure. Every experience is to be rigorously analysed, the task of the INTP's mind is to fit each encountered idea or experience into a larger structure defined by logic." - An INTP Profile (intp.org)

"INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions." - Portrait of an INTP (The Personality Page)

"The Architects' distant goal is always to rearrange the environment somehow, to shape, to construct, to devise, whether it be buildings, institutions, enterprises, or theories. They look upon the world -- natural and civil -- as little more than raw material to be reshaped according to their design..." - The Portrait of the Architect Rational (iNTp) (Keirsey)

"INTPs contribute a logical, system-building approach to their work. They like being the architect of a plan, because of the scheming and thinking involved, far more than being the implementer of that plan. Implementation tends to be drudgery. They are content to sit back and think about what might work, given their view of the situation. INTPs may ignore standard operating procedures. The hours that they spend are not what is important to them, but rather the completion of their thought process" - INTP - The Wizard (Lifexplore)

"likes solitude, not revealing, unemotional, rule breaker, avoidant, familiar with the darkside, skeptical, acts without consulting others" - Jung Type Descriptions (INTP) (similarminds.com)

And this explains SOOOO many things: only 2.5% of the entire population is an INTP type, and only 1% of females fall into this category. So it's not just that I feel like an oddball; I really am one! But I'm in good company: Lincoln, Einstein, Darwin, Adams (J.Q.), and the Olsen twins (Hey, they're billionaires. That's a good thing!).

And the Award Goes To...

2007-11-13T08:46:00.000-05:00

I'll take that Bad Mommy Award back, Stephanie. This week, it's all mine.

Friday was Aengus's 7th birthday. A magical number, so the home educator in me thought, Harry Potter theme, magic everywhere! But Aengus wanted a Nintendo DS, so we used all the b-day budget and gave it to him. I figured hey, he'll see all his friends at co-op anyway; I'll bring a cake and we'll call it a party without all the expense.

So that's what we did. Aengus played with all his friends and had a blast. No organized games or crafts or anything (none that he participated in -- as usual), but plenty of full-on fun and a few presents to boot. I brought a cake, and we all had some, but it was very casual and disorganized. Hey, that's how I run. I said, "help yourselves," and they all did. It was cool.

Later that night, Grammy and Papa came for a visit. We had a brilliant time playing with Aengus's new toys and games. The next day Aengus had his last soccer game (against us parents -- I scored twice, but we lost because the dads were being all nice and gentle on the little beasts) and Aengus got a cool new trophy. We played together all day, then Papa treated us to Chinese for dinner (how does a man live 56 years without ever eating Chinese?!) and we watched a movie. All in all, it was a great day.

Sunday came, and my parents went. We did chores and chilled out. It wasn't until Aengus was in bed that I realized what I'd forgotten: We never sang, "Happy Birthday" to Aengus or gave him candles to blow out. Never, all weekend long. He never got to make a wish.

Childhood is so short; the time for innocence even shorter. How many chances do we get to believe that our wishes will come true, if only we get all those candles out in just one breath? I have a feeling this is the last year for Santa at our house; the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy will be the next to go. How long after that can Aengus's faith in wishes and magic last?

Yes, he'll probably get another birthday or two in which his faith will hold fast; one or two more chances to wish with all his heart then blow with all his body. One or two more chances, and that's it: Truth will set in, then cynicism will begin its slow takeover.

And I took away one of those few precious opportunities through sheer forgetfulness. What's the matter with me?! How could I forget such an important thing? It's bad enough that Aengus doesn't get bedtime stories or lullabies or any "mommy-and-me" activities. It's bad enough that my family rarely gets any veggies, let alone a decent home-cooked meal. And it's bad enough that my children often miss out on field trips and activities. Now I'm actively taking away their innocence.

Hand over that award, Stephanie. I'm the Bad Mommy this week.

The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List

2007-11-09T08:25:00.000-05:00

From the pages of Secular Homeschooling Magazine, Issue #1
http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html

1 Please stop asking us if it's legal. If it is -- and it is -- it's insulting to imply that we're criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don't assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a "reality" show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You're probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you've ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don't look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they're in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we're doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we're religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn't go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn't have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don't need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can't teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there's a reason I'm so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word "home" is right there in "homeschool," we never leave the house. We're the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it's crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word "school" is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we're into the "school" side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don't have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, "But what about the Prom?" Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don't get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I'm one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don't ask my kid if she wouldn't rather go to school unless you don't mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn't rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" Even if you think it's some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you're horrified. One of these days, I won't bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you're allowed to ask how we'll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can't, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn't possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud "because he's homeschooled." It's not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because he's homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won't get because they don't go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here's a thought: If you can't say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

Flea Bitten

2007-11-02T20:15:00.000-04:00

I dipped my cats tonight. Yippee-frickin'-doo, what a way to spend a Friday night. The fleas are taking over, though, so I bought out Petco of every last poisonous chemical that would guarantee death to the little bloodsuckers and got ready for some fun.

It was just Aengus and me, so of course we had to make this a little game, right? Aengus chased our poor cats all through the house with the box from our new, cheap-ass coffee maker (long story; the gist of it is that I am once again caffeinated). He figured that once he caught a cat in the box, we'd transport it to the tub and proceed to give it the bubble bath that would so obviously be a lovely experience for the kitty.

Silly boy.

Well, he did manage to catch one cat (Spot, the most timid of the lot) in the box. No sooner had I gotten the lid shut on her (am I the supportive mom or what? Restrain a cat in a small, dark box? Of course we can, honey!) than she slipped through a crack and skydived across the kitchen and hauled ass upstairs.

Round two: Smoochy. Now, Smooch is our most vocal feline and would be voted Most Like a Crackhead. Let's just say she's a little twitchy. Well, I managed to grab her without trouble, got her in the bathroom, held her in the tub, and started to tell Aengus to "Shut the door! Quick! QUICK!" when Smooch flew across the bathroom and through the doorway, bounced off the opposite wall in the hallway, and tore down to my bedroom to seek safety. Aengus is, by this time, in absolute hysterics.

Yeah, laugh it up, boy. Just you wait until we actually get one of them wet.

Finally, we caught Rumer. Now, Rumer is our eldest cat, being close to 100 in people years. He's ornery and slow and seems arthritic. Once we got him in the tub and started the water, though, he seemed to find that he had a little spring left in his step. I managed to hang on to his flea collar through the process, so he couldn't escape, but he showed me just how vocal the ol' coot can still be. Oy. He was howling up a storm, and Spot and Smooch were out in the hall, howling right back.

"Help! Get me outta here!"

"We're trying, we're trying! How do we get this damn door open?"

"Just bust it down and get me away from this bitch!"

Poor guy. I'm just glad the whole thing didn't give him a coronary.

With Rumer safely deflea'd and released, it was time to hunt Spot again. Surprisingly, she was easy to find: the dummy was waiting for Rumer in the hallway. Thinking a lot faster than I usually do, I scooped her up and dashed back inside the bathroom.

I felt terrible dipping Spot. She's so delicate and timid. Plus, she's mostly white (with... you guessed it, spots), so you could see her pathetic pink skin and fragile little limbs. And with her chosen method to attempt escape, I basically had to hold her in the air by her flea collar, practically choking her the whole time. Sorry sweetie, but you'll be happier without the fleas.

And finally, we were back to Smooch. Holy. Crap. That cat did NOT take it like a man, let's just say that. And I thought Rumer had howled; Smooch sounded like she was dying. Slowly. And she was constantly twisting into the air and spazzing and trying to escape, which made Aengus laugh all the harder. Thanks for your help, buddy.

We tried Aengus's suggestion of filling the sink and dunking Smooch to rinse her off. It actually worked, kinda sorta. And she looked damn cute in her little kitty hot tub. But she still needed a run under the handshower to get all those poisonous suds off her, so I hosed her down quickly. The second I released her, she shot across the room and sat, shivering, at the door in a huge puddle. Do you have any idea how much moisture a cat's coat can carry? We're talking gallons here, people. (And that was your science for today, Aengus.)

The original plan called for a dip o' the cats and the dog, then a bombing of the house, too. But I'm exhausted, and I don't have enough bomb for the whole house, anyway. So Bear gets a reprieve. I'm replenishing my energy stores, buying another bomb, and getting all the foodstuffs out of the house. Once the dog gets her fun in the tub, I'm declaring war on the house.

And goddammit, I'm buying Frontline in the spring!

Blogging, Schlogging

2007-10-27T12:07:00.000-04:00

This thing, this ... "Blogosphere," is a strange place. What a wonderful opportunity to share with friends, family, the world all about your life. A convenient exercise in writing. A great way to learn something new and share all you've learned. A place to get things off your chest or toot your own horn.

The problem is...
Who the fuck has the time to post?!

A Rant:Or, Why NLSV is Becoming an Official Nonprofit Organization

2007-10-05T18:19:00.000-04:00

{dusting off soapbox}

I read the other day that public schools in our region spend about $10,000 per student per year. I assume this includes everything from books and teachers to buses and nurses. But it also includes art and music supplies and playground and gym equipment. How much is spent directly on the "academic" portion of molding young minds, I don't know, but the overall expense to basically shepherd a child into adulthood is a whopping $10,000. Each student. Every year.

Go back and read that again. Now tell me this, fellow home educators: what kind of education would your children receive if you had that kind of cash to put into their upbringing?

My family brings in about the same amount after taxes -- for the whole year. I know we're on the low end of the financial spectrum, and we've occasionally received assistance from others. But not only can I educate my two children --year round!-- I can also feed them and their parents, keep a house and drive a car (less lately), all for the price of what our schools are spending to teach those kids from 7am to 3pm. It boggles the mind.

Not that I want the schools to spend less per child for the education they try to give these kids. And I certainly don't wish on them the stress of stretching the $$ they way I need to. God, no.

What I do wish is to have that kind of money to spend on my kids' education. Do you know what I could DO with 20 grand?! We could go stand in front of the Sphynx and inside the pyramids when we study ancient Egypt, experience the true immensity of the Grand Canyon or the California redwoods when we learn about Westward Expansion, or learn to haggle in Spanish in a real Latin American street market when we explore foreign languages.

Noah could have the much-easier-for-mom algebra program and be involved in fencing and Lego League and have his own real lab equipment. Aengus could have every possible board and card game, take part in every sport he wanted, and experience all the art and science activities I could find.

We could go on every field trip our friends get to go on, catch all the movies we love to use in our curriculum, visit every museum we've been dreaming about, and take all the wonderful day trips our area has to offer. What a wonderful education they'd have!

But they're stuck with broke parents who can only give them the basics -- much of what they'd get in school, actually. The environment is certainly better here at home, and they will definitely learn the material here (as opposed to reciting the information onto a test and promptly forgetting it). They get P.E. and music and the 3 R's and science and history. And they get it in some interesting ways other than through the read-the-textbook-and-take-a-test method. In short, they get a comparable education in a more gratifying way than the public schools -- without the expense. But with that $20,000 ... Now that's the education I want for my kids.

Which, of course, begs the question: What about vouchers and tax credits? Bah. I want nothing to do with them. Ever the middle child, I can see both sides of those political issues. But whether they are ethical or constitutional or moral or even practical is irrelevant to me. The fact is, once the government is, in essence, giving us cash, they are giving themselves the right to have a say in how that cash is spent. And until a law is written in which we get money with no strings -- and no potential for strings -- regarding the education of our own children, they can keep their money.

I believe that all home educating families understand the value of these enrichment oppotunities, though, and that many of us are struggling financially. I doubt any of us would have trouble finding a fantastic educational opportunity for our kids if we had a little more cash. So, given those dreaded governmental strings, we need to look to the private sector to help fund these so-called "extras."

This is why I want Natural Learners to become a way for homeschooling families to connect with people willing and able to support our cause. "Our cause" is the same as the public schools, but without government support: that of an educated populace. Granted, our methods and standards are a bit different, but we all want our kids to be happy, educated, and hopefully successful contributors to this society.

{neatly placing soapbox back in the attic}

What IS it with family?!

2007-09-19T17:16:00.000-04:00

My mother stopped by the other day.

Now, there are two things you should note, dear reader, about the above statement. One: my mother lives in Pennsylvania, and I live in Virginia; it's difficult for her to just "stop by." Secondly, I referred to her not as "my mom," but as "my mother." Never a good sign.

Don't get me wrong -- I love her dearly! She is a fantastic grandmother and a very kind, giving person. In spite of our moral and political differences, she always (OK, usually) defers to me when dealing with my children. She tries very hard not to undermine my "authority." She's never once spanked or smacked the boys, though I'm sure she's occasionally wanted to and probably doesn't know any other way of handling young children's misbehavior. She mentions Jesus sometimes but never pushes the church thing. And until last year, she never questioned our homeschooling decision.

OK, maybe she questioned the decision, but she put on a supportive face for the kids that -- I thought -- became sincere over time. Keep in mind that we've been at this for nine years now. Last year I made the mistake of telling her that we made the leap into unschooling. What the hell was I thinking, you ask? I was thinking that after years of waffling on the subject, I was excited that I'd finally jumped into the lifestyle. I was excited about the whole idea of unschooling, of using the whole world to learn and teach my kids. I was excited at finally having found what really works for our family.

But I'd forgotten that my mother is a former math teacher. In the public schools. {groan} What have I done? Ever since I told her about unschooling, every visit is punctuated by pop quizzes for Noah. Being the real trooper that he is, he handles the questions deftly, translating what he does with his time into educationese like a pro.

But the look on his face the first few times was heartbreaking. It said, Why is Grammy betraying me like this? He couldn't understand why she had suddenly switched into school-principal mode. Before, her questions were all about what cool things he was doing. Suddenly the questions became more schoolish: What are you learning in math? Are you doing grammar? What about science? When can you take time off from school to come visit me?

At this visit, Noah received more of the same. Luckily, Aengus was sleeping over at a friend's house, so he missed the grilling. Apparently, my mother feels it's time he was "doing school," too. She asked if we started with him yet.

"Nope, he's learning just fine on his own."

Will he be starting school next year, then? (Nine years, people!)

"Uh, no."

Won't he be in first grade next year?

"I guess."

Does this mean you're skipping kindergarten?

Shrug. "Sure."

Now, I know that she meant "formal academic studies" when she said "school." Still, I have told her repeatedly how much Aengus has taught himself and that we're allowing him to continue to do so. She just seems hell bent on us using formal curriculum, and I don't know how else to put it so that she'll understand that we aren't using that method.
I guess what it comes down to is that I no longer speak her schoolish language. What is obviously an adventure in writing, spelling, problem solving, critical thinking, history and social studies to me is simply "Runescape" to her. In her mind, if it's not in a textbook or coming from a teacher's mouth, how can it be learning?

I suppose I'll handle this the same way I handled the spanking issue: stick to my guns and wait for the results to speak for themselves. I just hope my mother doesn't destroy her relationship with her grandsons in the process. She's too good a Grammy to lose.

Mental Challenges

2007-09-14T10:03:00.000-04:00

You ever feel like an idiot? I mean, not just having-a-blond-moment kind of idiot, but a full-on what-the-hell's-the-matter-with-me kind of numnut.

I love hanging out with my home-educating girls. But every time we get to talking, and each time I read the message boards, that feeling of intellectual inadequacy comes over me. It's not that I'm unintelligent, I remind myself; it's that these women are all above-average. They really are smarter than the average American. Way smarter. And it's very humbling.

Even so, I give myself pep talks and convince myself that while I may not be brilliant like my friends and fellow home educators, I am at least somewhat intelligent.

Then comes a day like yesterday. I spent hours --hours-- on the computer, trying to figure out how to burn CDs and load videos onto Noah's mp3 player. This is something any teenager can do with speed and ease, right? So, how hard can it be? Apparently, very hard. At first, the CDs we burned (burnt?) wouldn't play on a CD player at all, just on the computer. After a while of fiddling, I discovered that Media Player had been set to "Burn Data to Disc," not audio. Big, fat DUH.

Alright, I figured that out. I had to burn a new disc, since these are not rewritable CDs, but luckily they weren't expensive. This time the stereo played the CD, but the quality was terrible. I mean, on the computer, it played just fine. But on the stereo it sounded like the tapes we used to make by holding the recorder up to the radio. Well, I figured, at least you can hear music. That's enough technology-induced stress for one day.

Not so! Then we tried to transfer video onto the mp3 player. Apparently, you can't download videos from You Tube, but we did find this handy little website (http://www.videocodezone.com/) that will convert video web pages into various downloadable formats. It only took me two hours to figure out which format would work both on our computer and on Noah's mp3 player. Noah's like, "Can't you just convert the file on Video Code Zone, then have the mp3 player software convert it into the format it needs?" Well, yeah, smart ass. That's what I'm trying to do, but it won't work.

So I spent a very demoralizing couple more hours trying to figure out why this process wasn't following the logic I thought it should (and that the Help screen said it should). It came down to trial and error. I finally got it to work, but I still don't understand why. If I only had a 16-year-old kid in my life to explain it all to me...or my Daddy, who intuitively understands all things electronic.

But the upside of the day was that Noah and I had a little bonding time. Downside is, I feel downright stupid. Time to find some rednecks to talk to; they always make me feel better about myself. You don't happen to know any, do you?

Ah, Noah...

2007-09-07T21:47:00.000-04:00

I'm puttin' it right out there: Noah drives me up a fucking wall. Not sometimes...most of the time these days. But even when I'm ready to tell him I've had it, he needs to find his own place, I have to admit he's a really great person. I mean it! He really is. He saves his adolescent venom, as I affectionately call it, exclusively for me. With everyone else, he's really pretty awesome. Case in point:

After fUNschool (our homeschooling co-op) today, one of the moms had a flat tire. Now, Noah didn't jump out of the car and rush over to help. But when I mentioned maybe he could give her a hand, he did saunter over and offer his assistance. The older kids joined him, so we had our own little impromptu auto maintenance class. Unschooling rocks!

Not that any of us knew how to change a tire, mind you. But between the four moms and eight or ten kids who were there, you'd think we could figure it out, right? I mean, how hard can it be? All guys seem to know how to do it, after all.

So, once the jack was alligned under the frame correctly and the van was lifted, the kids took turns unscrewing lugnuts. Noah steps up to the plate: strike one! That thing wouldn't budge. Try another lugnut, buddy. Strike two! Those suckers are on tight, aren't they?

At this point, Noah steps back to let another teen try; this time, a girl. She got it on the first try. I could just see the self-esteem issues wafting about his aura...There goes his manhood now...

Next up, another girl. His crush, at that. Ruh-roh. But she wasn't able to move any lugnuts, either. Then Noah comes up with the idea of using his foot on the crowbar, and the rest was easy. Manhood crisis averted. Whew!

The girls got the spare tire and lugnuts on, then Noah tightened them. The mom of the van in question started lowering the jack. Bear in mind, this woman had the cutest little skirt and heels on. A white skirt, at that. Noah steps up and --are you ready for it?-- asks if she'd like him to do it.

I tried not to let on, but I was bursting with pride. He really pushes my buttons; I think he thinks it's some kind of sport; "mom-needling," and he's the reigning champ. But darned if he isn't, underneath all the puberty, a really nice guy.

Ah, Aengus...

2007-09-04T19:46:00.000-04:00

I'm trying very hard to have this not be a blog all about my son's adolescent behavior. But really, with such rich fodder, it's hard sometimes. So instead of bitching about Noah again (which I would dearly love to do right now), I'll pull a Steph and tell you what Aengus has been learning today.

Aengus spent the morning going through his toys in the attic, pulling out items to sell at a Yard Sale. Never mind that it's a Thursday morning. Never mind that he has maybe two dozen toys in his sale, and nothing else. Never mind that he's asking $14 for a box of broken-ass TMNT guys. This boy is convinced he's going to make a lot of money.

So, he made a sign: I told him the letters, he wrote them on a scrap of paper and taped it all to shit onto a stick. We took the dog, the sign, and a hammer down the street to the main intersection and hammered his stick into the ground. People zooming by can almost recognize the red blob on the sign as an arrow, so he might get some traffic.

Fast forward to after lunch. No customers yet. Not easily deterred, Aengus whips out another scrap of paper and bursts into my bedroom. Little shit. I was sleeping.

"Mom," he says. "How do you spell car wash?"

OK, Adesa, time to get up. Coffee. Coffee.

So I got out the bucket for him (after unjamming the large coffee can he had wedged in the bathroom sink, trying to fill it up) and filled it with soapy water. We dragged out all the rags we could find and pulled out the hose. To jump-start business, I declared that washing our own car would be good marketing. Mwah-ha-ha!

After burning bunches of calories, soaking loads of rags and towels, and spraying each other to the saturation point, the task was finally complete. Or, as complete as it's gonna be for now. I still need to Windex the windows, Armor-All the dash, and vacuum the inside. But seriously, if it takes me 4 months to get this far, can't all that wait a few more months? Why kill ourselves doing it all at once?

Aengus totally loved playing with the hose ("Look, Mom! It's a whip!"). But nary a customer in sight. I'm hoping the distraction of his favorite shows will keep him from getting down about not making a cent. Ya gotta admire his self-motivation, though.

I realize that while Noah and I pretended to play store when he was little, Aengus really set up a store. How I wish I had unschool Noah.

Right now, my bright, cheerful, pleasant younger child is dressed in his new black shoes, black socks, too-short black cords, grey shirt hidden under his new black hoodie, black-and-grey beanie hat, and black fabric wrapped around his hands like gloves.

"And just what are you trying to be, my child?" I ask him.

"I'm being Emo."

Rock on, little dude. Rock on.

Peace One Day

2007-09-04T19:42:00.001-04:00

After seeing this on The Watcher's website, I feel compelled to share it with everyone I can.

I Will Survive

2007-08-30T17:20:00.000-04:00

Oh man, this is funny. It made my day.

Curriculum Shit

2007-08-30T07:54:00.000-04:00

So quiet around here...

Aengus is an exuberant guy, yet the house still seems so quiet without Noah. Who knew that a kid who spends his day in his room or playing on the computer could leave such a palpable silence with his absence?

I know I should have been planning curriculum while he's been away. I just can't find it in me to think "school." I don't know if I still have summer on the brain, or the unschooling thing was so much to my thinking that I can't get out of it. Either way, I need to find a way to at least fake enthusiasm, 'cause Noah wants to do more formal, structured work this year.

We have the books to continue with Pre-Algebra, Geography, Grammar, and Literature. We can manage History with the library. He's got his guitar for music, with help from the internet and the library. Don't know what to do about writing. And though I have plenty of science books, I've never been good at actually doing experiments. So, I'm hoping we can put together a class at the local college using one of their Physics or Chemistry majors as an instructor. Oh, and Noah's signed up for Lego League, which is a fantastic opportunity (covering many subjects).

Problem is, once I get my act together and organize this stuff, I still have to find a way to pay for the science and Lego League. And guitar lessons. But I have no money. We're not sure yet how we're paying our bills this month (or next, for that matter), let alone buying extras like curriculum. Or food.

Ugh.

I hate being broke. I realized it was high time for me to find a paying job: The kids are more self-sufficient, and hubby's working from home, so the one-car thing isn't an issue anymore. But the places I've applied haven't even called me back. I don't get that -- I've always gotten every job I've applied for. Not to get even a call-back has me wondering what I did wrong on my applications. Or if maybe my last formal job being in 1998 might be a hindrance. I wonder if I should add the childcare work I did since then? But it's not like I'm trying to get into highly-competitive positions here. We're talking retail and food service, people. The damn college kids came back and took all the jobs, I suppose.

Sigh. Until I get a job, I think all fun --and eating-- will be on hold. And Christmas is coming. Again.

OK, I've thoroughly depressed myself now. Need more coffee. Damn, it's weak today. Maybe that's my trouble.

Wastin' time with You Tube...

2007-08-27T18:34:00.001-04:00

Can't get this outta my head:

For all you young'uns, that there's real music. And to bring the old school into your new-fangled world:

I love You (Tube).

NLSV's UK Tour '09: Premier Issue

2007-08-26T09:25:00.000-04:00

It's been quiet here. Too quiet. Noah's absence is palpable.

Aengus spends his days coloring and watching TV and digging in the dirt and asking for play dates. I spend my days on the computer. Where's that Crappy Mom Award? It's my turn!

The main thing I've been doing online (since Harry Potter's over and my usual cyber activities have thus ended) is researching the UK and Ireland and how to get us there. And so, let the travel journal begin:

In February of 2007, Daniel Radcliffe starred in the London production of Equus. I will openly admit that the premise of the play freaked me out (all I think when I hear "sex with horses" is OUCH!), but the draw of a naked Daniel Radcliffe... now THAT's something to get excited about!

While discussing this delightful opportunity, my girlfriends and I decided a field trip to see the play would be a fantastic learning opportunity for our kids. OK, their kids, since my boys would not be interested. But I should chaperone, right?!

We discussed jetting off to London for a long weekend. But really, once you're there, you've got to take the opportunity to see as much of the country as you can, right? And sheesh, Ireland is right next door. We're gonna need more than a weekend. And I suppose we really should offer the husbands a seat on the plane, too; we'll need evening childcare, after all.

My girlfriends laughed along with me at the idea, then went on with their lives. Being the obsessive person I am, the idea festered in my head. What if, I thought, we really did make this a field trip? It would certainly be educational; part of being a homeschooler is seizing every opportunity to learn something, and the UK is dripping with learning opportunities. The major appeal of such a trip (to our family, anyway) is its history and culture. So much the better when we're experiencing it all with friends!

And if it's a field trip, that means we can do fundraisers to help make it happen. This was the vital leap in my thought process, because it surely can't happen without raising the money from outside sources.

Then the wheels really began to turn. Oh, the learning potential! A whirlwind of curriculum ideas swirled in my head: literature, language, history, art, architecture, culture, music, astronomy, economics, drama, math, geneology,... you name it, I can put together a study of it based on a trip to the UK and Ireland. So much we can do between now and take-off that would be considered "schoolwork"!

If I can just make it all happen...

Well, if there's one thing I've learned from being a home educator all these years, it's that if you want something to happen, do it. Just do it. Take the steps and others will follow.

So, what began as an extended Moms' Night Out became the NLSV UK Tour '09 (working title). I've researched fundraising opportunities and ideas, airfare, hostels versus B&Bs versus hotels, ground transportation, becoming a non-profit, tourist attrations and traps, bank accounts, etc., etc., etc. I've spent hours looking into all the details -- on TV, online, and in books.

I still have lots more research to do, but I think we're ready to start fundraising efforts. It will take a lot of fundraising, for sure. Many of these families have stay-at-home moms; the job is priceless but payless, unfortunately. My own family can barely pay our bills, let alone save for retirement or a rainy day or a fab-o trip to the Old World. So the only way I'm getting there is if I can raise all the funds through group efforts; I think most of our other families are in the same boat -- er, plane.

My immediate plans are to organize all my research into handy packets and hold an organizational meeting of the interested parties. It looks like we'll have 20-25 people travelling together. What fun!! But what a lot of cash that will be -- up to $75,000! I concede that the idea is intimidating. But the image of this particular gang together in England and Ireland keeps me motivated.

That, and I will see Daniel Radcliffe while we're there -- naked, if I can manage it.

The Airport Saga

2007-08-23T09:32:00.001-04:00

On Tuesday, Big Bro flew to Atlanta on his own to spend some time with friends. Getting him there was almost glitch-free... except when it came to telecommunications.

All our ducks were in their damned rows: Everything he'd need was either packed or would be bought at Wal-Mart in Georgia. We had all his paperwork printed out and organized, right down to a map of the Atlanta airport. Bathing suit and goggles, check. Underwear, check. Toothbrush, check (and you damn well better use it, boy!).

So, off we go. The parking lot shuttle shows up at our car just as we're locking it up. There's no line at check-in. Noah gets the ideal seat on the plane. Security's a pain but quick. Noah's gate is close and easy to find. So far, everything is running smoothly.

But then...

As we're looking for a magazine and some gum for his flight, Noah remembers that he left his mp3 player in the car. He's really attached to that thing, to the point that he was loading music specifically for the trip. Sorry, buddy, but you'll have to live without your music for two weeks.

OK, that was our glitch, right? Huh. Not so fast.

Then he remembered that he left his Benedryl and Tracfone card in the car as well. Benedryl he can buy in Georgia. The Tracfone card? BIG PROBLEM.

See, he's got this Tracfone that he never uses, so I had let the service drop. We stopped on the way to the airport to get him more minutes, because it was VITAL that he have a way to call me or his friend's mom when he lands. He's flying in to Atlanta, for Christ's sake. What if they don't issue Cori a gate pass? What if he's just standing there, wondering where to go and how to find her? How will he reach her? How will I know he's found her? AACK!

OK, deep breath. We had almost an hour before his flight leaves. I was going to see if I could make it out to the car and back real quick. Now, I know what you're thinking: I was smoking crack, right? Well, no; I'm just really inexperienced with flight. I actually thought I had a chance.

So I leave Noah with all his stuff right next to the gate and zoom out of the airport. I noticed on my way past security, however, that a line had formed. Red flags went up in my head --really, they were popping up in front of my eyeballs. But I continued, wondering what the hell my baby would do without a phone.

When I finally found the spot I was supposed to go to to catch the parking lot shuttle, I had just missed it. The next one wouldn't be back for another 15 minutes. Those red flags were now dancing. What if I couldn't get back in time, and Noah had to board without seeing me? How scared would he be?! Would they even let him on the plane without me there? And if they did --how dare they?!

I turned tail and ran back into the airport, stopped short by the now-huge line at security. Oh, crap. It was all I could do to not cut through the line and start somethin' with all these people who were between me and my kid. Once it was finally my turn, security was quick (it was just me and my purse and my thank-God-I-wore-these slip-on sandals).

I made it back to Noah just as they started boarding his flight. "OK," I said, "You'll have to take my phone and my mp3 player. It's a shuffle, but it's got lots of Green Day, so you'll survive." Off he went, with a quick hug and a slight look of panic in his eyes.

The only decent view of the planes taking off was from the airport bar. Poor me. I bellied up and ordered a brew, thinking it would be a while 'til Noah's plane actually headed up, up, and away. Not two sips into my beer, though, and there he went. I couldn't see the end of the runway, but I didn't hear an explosion or panicked announcements over the PA system, so I made myself relax. Finished my beer while reading my guidebook to the UK, dreaming of the day when I would be on a plane myself.

Alrighty, time to call the other mom and let her know Noah's cell number. Red flags went up again when the pay phone at the airport wouldn't work, no matter how many quarters I gave it or what number I dialed. Ruh-roh.

No big deal, Adesa, just find a payphone on the road and try again.

So tell me: have you tried finding a payphone lately? The damn things hardly exist anymore. I took exit after exit in an unfamiliar city, trying to find one. When I finally did, I used it to load the minutes onto the Tracfone that was to be mine for two weeks. I took off again, thinking I'd make all my other calls from the road.

Mwa-ha-ha! replied God.

Apparently, Tracfone did not program the phone properly, because after a bunch of attempts to many numbers, I could not get the damn thing to connect me to anyone, not even Tracfone itself. But I did manage to use 18 minutes of call time in the effort, which they damn well better reimburse me for.

By now, it's after 3 o'clock. Noah should have landed, and I'm flipping out. Frustration with the stupid phone situation had me on edge, I had a beer in me (just one, but it was a big one), and the mama bear in me knew my son had flown away. My brain was swarming with images of planes crashing and my baby being scared and alone while his plane was engulfed in flames, and of him standing in the enormous Atlanta airport wondering what to do and where to go and searching for Cori and of him having the same phone problems I was having and not being able to call her. I was losing it fast, and now I had to find another fucking payphone.

Just then, I spotted a sign for a rest stop, and intinct told me I'd find a phone there. They had three! Of course, the first one didn't work, leading to lots of loud "fuck"s and stares from strangers and smearing my mascara. But the second one worked just fine. I got right through to Noah, and asked if he had found Cori OK. He replied with that special tone of voice reserved for thirteen-year-olds, "Yes, Mom, I'm fine. I'm in their car now. Anything else?"

Shithead.

Once the drama was over, I realized two things. One, the charger for the Tracfone was in Georgia, so I wouldn't be able to use it after all. And two...

I get Noah's mp3 player for two weeks. Mwa-ha-ha!

Ma baby done flied away...

2007-08-23T09:26:00.000-04:00

Noah flew --solo-- down to Atlanta to stay with his friends for a week or two (That's them, up above: the tall boy in the middle and his younger bro a few kids to the right in the dark jacket. Their little sis isn't in the pic). He had a four-day summer camp experience a few years ago, but this is the longest we'll have been apart. Ever. (sniff)

Actually, it's not quite sadness I'm feeling. It is sad that he's not with us, and that he's growing up and leaving his childhood behind with me, and that it's just not as funny around here without him.

But heading off on his own is such an exciting thing for him to do, and I feel that sense of adventure along with him. I remember how it feels to be responsible for yourself for the first time and how very thrilling that is.

And I have to say that I'm very proud of him. He's a cautious kid; he's not exactly afraid to try new things, but he sees potential pitfalls and treads carefully. He'd rather not do something at all than try it and have it go wrong.

Doing this --flying alone, to a huge, strange place-- is something he wouldn't have attempted for anyone but his best friend. OK, so the annoying little bro was a bit of a motivator, too... Still, he overcame his fears and nerves and made himself just do it. I can't believe he's the same kid that I had to drag, literally kicking and screaming, into the tubes at Chuck E. Cheese. (Note to Noah's friends who are reading this: he was only two years old at the time.)

(sniff) My baby's growing up. I'm left with the same feeling I have on each of my birthdays: that life is fleeting, passing me too quickly by; that I don't ever want this to end! This --this life I've made, that I'm living-- is not at all what I'd like it to be, but it's so much more in so many ways. I may be many things, have many interests, beyond motherhood. I may be a fascinating woman (I'm not, but I could be!) with many facets besides being a mother. But what do they matter, compared with this?

They just don't. Not to me, anyway.

Where the hell I've been

2007-08-22T11:09:00.000-04:00

After almost a month of computer problems and mini-vacations, I'm back online. Finally!

Coming up tonight: The trauma of seeing my oldest fly away...literally.

Stay tuned.

SPOILER-Filled Deathly Hallows Post

2007-07-23T11:30:00.000-04:00

S
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S
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Alright, here we go:

1) The Deathly Hallows themselves were a totally unexpected plot twist. Who would have thought JKR would add an all-new sub-plot when she had so many other plot points to resolve? But she did it, and it managed to be important and make sense. I'm still a little fuzzy on how the Elder Wand came to be Draco's, but I'm sure it will become clear upon re-reading.

2) I was really touched by how much Dobby's death affected Harry. I especially liked that he dug Dobby's grave Muggle-style.

3) Holy action, Batman! This baby's packed with battles throughout, not just a biggie at the end. I wasn't prepared for that. What an awesome movie this will make!

4) Speaking of the movie... Something tells me this one will be difficult for the filmmakers to keep at PG-13. And if they do get an R rating, I'm looking forward to a naked Dan Radcliffe!!!

5) Filled with action...and humor. Rowling was smart to include so much comic relief, since this episode is so stressful to read. Another characteristic that will make it an excellent movie. I was laughing out loud many times.

6) Ron and Hermione's liplock was perfect timing in its imperfect timing. Hysterical at a moment when tensions were super-high.

7) I was just starting to be disappointed with the lack of Snape through the meat of the story. But when he did reappear...yowza! I was happy to read that though he's not a nice guy, he really was on our side the whole time. Having Harry forgive him (and, in fact, honor him) in the end was good for our hero's soul, IMO.

8) I cried the most when I read about Fred, Lupin, and Tonks. Don't tell me there isn't room for another few books there: Teddy loses his parents as an infant and has The Boy Who Lived as his godfather? I smell a sequel!

9) Killing Hedwig, particularly so early in the story, was just plain vicious. What did she ever do to you, Jo? OK, so she would have been a pain for Harry to carry all around England all year. And yes, having his Firebolt and owl would have made things too easy for our hero. Still... It was just mean.

10) I would have liked to have seen a good liplock for Harry and Ginny there at the end of the Battle of Hogwarts. Knowing they are together and happy after 19 years is nice, but I wanted to see the reconcilliation.

11) I was actually kinda disappointed Harry didn't spend more time at Hogwarts. We see very little of the school and its culture in this book, which is good storytelling IMO, but I still missed it.

12) And finally... I was shocked and dismayed when Ron walked out on Harry. What the hell was that?! I know it furthered the plot and gave them all more information when he came back, but I was devastated when he left. I couldn't believe it happened. Well, "shocked" was pretty much how I felt most of the way through the book, to be honest.

I'm sure I'll be expounding on my opinions sporadically over the next few weeks. A few more read-throughs should do the trick.

Still wondering what's going to fill this hole in my life...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (no spoilers here -- yet)

2007-07-22T19:25:00.000-04:00

Wow.

I was so scared that I'd be disappointed, so great were my expectations and excitement, but--

Wow.

That was just the best book ever! Not many of my predictions came true, and even fewer came about the way I expected. After all the theories and predictions I've read (from logical to wild), all supported ferociously by canon sources...and not one of them came close! I'm surprised just how surprised I was, the whole way through. It was full of action and humor, and I all-out cried at least once. (Oh, Teddy!)

All I can say is that here is a world which we can hold up for our children as moral examples: the heroes in this series are true heroes. They are flawed human beings, yes, but they show incredible moral fortitude in the face of danger. Harry is much like Frodo; I feel immense sympathy for him and his journey and am more than a little impressed by his courage. Not so sure I could do it.

And if all those Potter-hating sheep-- er, I mean, fundamentalists-- ever actually read the series, I think they'd find Harry actually exemplifies much of the morality they claim to believe in.

Now that I know where Snape's allegiences lie and who dies and who lives... I'm off to give it another go. What else can I read now??

Checking in before my total electronic shutdown...

2007-07-20T16:51:00.000-04:00

Last night the boys and I camped outside Barnes and Noble with a good friend and her four kids. If you have to ask why, you apparently don't know me yet. Two words should explain it:

Harry. Potter.

Now, I don't care if I get the first or the 200-and-first copy when it is released tonight. I really don't. As long as I get a copy 'round about midnight, I'm good. But to ensure B&N doesn't run out of copies before we get ours, and to give the boys a once-in-a-lifetime experience, we decided to get there early and wait all night. And what a long night it was, too!

I was surprised just how much actually goes on in Harrisonburg at three in the morning. And shocked how many little old ladies are driving around at that ungodly hour! We had a few drunks stop and talk to us, but not as many as I would have thought.

The highlight of the evening for me was the college-age boys who commented that I looked twenty-six, not thirty-six. OK, so they were the drunkest of the lot, by far; that detail will probably be lost to my aging memory. It will certainly be lost in all future re-tellings!

Now I'm off to get dressed (as Professor McGonagall) for the release party, then I'll be incommunicado for a few days. May you all enjoy this unusual experience with your families, and savor this moment in human literary history together.

And FYI: The next time I post here, there WILL be spoilers. Don't check back until you've read Deathly Hallows. You have been warned.

Addendum to Restaurant Meme

2007-07-18T20:30:00.000-04:00

While in Pennsylvania, we discovered a fantastic place in Elizabethtown, called Rockwell's.

Good sign number one: they had several people directing traffic in their parking lot.

Good sign number two: about 8 thatched roof-style umbrellas on their deck, along with the hull of a sailboat as the outdoor bar.

Good sign number three: a playground for the kids. You heard me: A playground. For the kids.

We had lucious drinks (all kinds of tropical specials!), yummy appetizers, and excellent crab cake sandwiches in a really fun atmosphere.

I think the menu was reasonably priced, too: lunch entrees were less than $10, and dinners were in the $10-15 range. Those tropical drinks were around $4 each! For a party of 10 (3 kids), our bill was around $200, including all those drinkies (and there were a lot). Not bad.

If only there were a place like that around here...

20 Answers

2007-07-18T08:34:00.000-04:00

Before the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I'll make my predictions for the record. We'll see how many I get right.

1) People to die: Neville and Hagrid, possibly Percy (in the midst of or after just recently reconciling with the family. OK, maybe Snape, too.
2) Person who "receives a reprieve": Ron (or maybe Snape)
3) Sirius's two-way mirror will be very important, as will the collapsed passageway on the Marauder's Map, Hermione's knowledge of Ancient Runes, Buckbeak the Hippogriff, and Alice Longbottom's gum wrappers (I hope!)
4) Harry *will* return to Hogwarts, maybe even as a student, but possibly as the DADA teacher; he does, after all, need to find something from Ravenclaw/Gryffindor. Another probable hiding place for a horcrux: Gringott's.
5) Aberforth (who has the locket and is, of course, Dumbledore's brother), Dawlish (who I suspect is a spy for Dumbledore), Slughorn, and Krum will become more important characters.
6) Umbridge will be back, you mark my words.
7) WWII (Wizarding War 2) will involve giants, centaurs, house-elves, dementors, werewolves, and GOBLINS. The giants will tip the balance in our favor, and Kreacher will answer a lot of questions for Harry. Please please please let SPEW actually have a role in something, too.
8) Lupin and Tonks, sittin' in a tree...
9) OTOH, Harry will keep Ginny at a distance. She will be vital to our success, but they will only be reunited after Voldemort is defeated.
10) Fortescue's and Ollivander's disappearances will be explained. I have a feeling Fortescue is in protective custody because of his knowledge of the Goblin Riots, and Ollivander has been kidnapped by Lord Voldemort to help Him get around the peculiar behavior of His and Harry's wands when used against each other.
11) Madame Pince, the librarian, is Snape's mother, in protective custody, which is why Dumbledore trusts Snape so much.
12) Ron and Hermione...not so sure that's gonna work out.
13) Fred and George's shop will be important to the Resistance.
14) Petunia is hiding something magical under the squeaky stair at #4 Privet Drive...a wand? Something from Godric Gryffindor? Letters, perhaps from James to Lily or someone else who was at Godric's Hollow, or correspondence from Dumbledore?
15) Neville's memory is terrible because he had his memory altered when he was a baby. Perhaps *his* family was also at Godric's Hollow?
16) Speaking of Neville: He will Shine with his new wand; he'll take out a lot of Death Eaters, but he'll also have to stand up to a "friend" who has turned.
17) Pettigrew's silver hand will be useful...my guess is that it will have something to do with killing Snape, since so many bat references have been made with regard to Snape.
18) The mysterious locked room in the Department of Mysteries and the flying Ford Anglia will both be back.
19) Draco will be redeemed...his dad, not so much
20) Grindelwald and the 12 Uses of Dragon's Blood will not only be explained, they'll be important.
And a bonus: the word "scar," which Rowling has said for years is the last word of Book 7 and which has since been moved further in from the end, will refer not to Harry's lightening bolt-shaped mark but to the Umbridge-induced scar on his hand.

So now, we'll see whether I'm brilliant or clueless. I'm going with clueless, tinged with a bit of luck. ;o) Now I'm on total internet lockdown until I'm done reading the book. I hope you all enjoy it!

And "I hope it's THICK and LONG so it keeps me UP ALL NIGHT." ;o)

Seventh Grade Progress

2007-07-16T15:25:00.000-04:00

Remember how Noah said he wanted to start school in June? His idea was 2 weeks on vacation, followed by two weeks of "school." And remember how I said "we'll see how long this lasts?"

Three days.

Yep, you read that right: three effing days. So much for his interest in getting a leg-up on his schoolwork this year. Not that I have a problem with his taking a summer vacation. Heck, no! I'm the unschooler around here, so I'd be fine with doing what we do all year round.

But I think that if you're going to set a goal, then you need to...oh, I don't know...work on it, perhaps? Besides, he doesn't do much work (house, yard, or school) any other time of the year. What does he need a vacation from??!!

So all y'all who were impressed a few weeks ago can relax now. Noah is spending his summer doing all the things 13-year-old boys do: chat with buddies, have sleepovers, download music, and play Runescape 'til all hours.

Who says homeschoolers are weird?!

The "S" Word

2007-07-16T15:12:00.001-04:00

So, after re-reading my last post, I'm thinking...

I guess one of my biggest problems is that I lack social skills. I'm just not very graceful in conversations with others. I hate making small talk (it's hard work for me) and I really hate talking on the phone (I guess I rely on body language a lot). Simply talking to other people is just not something I'm good at.

OK. That's no surprise to me, I suppose, but here's my question: Can someone who is socially inept teach their children how to be socially suave? I know if I need to teach Algebra, I can just get a book about it or find a few websites and learn it myself, then pass it on. But social skills? Other than things like writing thank you notes and saying "please" and "thank you," I'm not sure how to teach my kids.

I know a lot of my friends who are naturally good at entertaining or are social butterflies. How do you teach that if not by example? Is it even possible?

God, I hope so.

Anyone who wants to teach me, just step right up.

The Three-Headed Squirrel Strikes Again

2007-07-12T18:13:00.000-04:00

We recently made a trip home (Lancaster County, PA) to spend Big Bro's big 1-3 with Grammy. He took in a decent haul, garnering more cash than I get on my b-days, plus a guitar, amp, and tuner and a shiny new MP3 player.

Must plug the Sansa he got. It's 4 gig and plays music, FM radio, photos, and video, plus there's a voice recorder on it. All for the low, low price of $120 at Circuit City. We love it!

Anywhooo... while we were in PA, hubby and Little Bro and I went to a housewarming party for an old friend. I was nervous, since it would be the first time I'd see some of my high school friends in years, and none of them had ever met Aengus. Noah wisely chose to go to the movies with Grammy and Papa. He got to see Die Hard, the rat bastard. I've lost weight since I saw many of them (not enough, but still...), I've been working out, I've gotten to a place of peace with my own life, yada yada yada. Thought it would be fun.

And yet...

I found myself feeling exactly the same as when I lived there: the oddball, socially inept, highly uncool in everyone's eyes. And these were my "friends." The hostess, Melissa, will always be a good friend, and while she and I don't agree on many things, we love each other and will always have a good relationship. Aside from her, however, everyone gave me that look.

Like I'm a three-headed squirrel.

Dammit, I'm 36 years old! Why did they make me feel 14 again? I'm not even sure I can put my finger on the problem. I'm a fun-loving girl, and we chatted about all kinds of things. But I was clearly the oddball. Again. I got the feeling people were rushing to get out of their conversations with me, never to return. I just got a we-don't-like-you-but-we-tolerate-you-for-Melissa's-sake vibe. I left there feeling like a total loser.

But I am what I am, right? I mean, I know what my faults are, and I'm working on them. Really, I am! But my freak flag waves proudly -- I am a three-headed squirrel, dammit, and I've no interest in changing so my old friends will accept me. It's obvious to me now that the reason I never really felt like one of them is because I wasn't, and apparently I never will be. I am what I am, and I always will be.

So while nothing specific happened at this party, I did manage to realize that I hate that whole place, and *cough-gasp-sputter* Virginia is where I belong.

Three-headed squirrels are welcome here.

Restaurant Meme

2007-06-27T18:00:00.000-04:00

Got tagged by Meg and I'm playin' along.
Here are the rules:

1. Link to name of person that tagged you.
2. Include state and country you live in.
3. List top 5 favorite local restaurants.
4. Tag 5 other people and let them know they’ve been tagged.

I'm in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley of Virginia (has it ever been described as anything else?!). I rarely get to go out to eat, so my restaurant list is only partly from personal experience. My top 5 are:

1. The Little Grill - This is THE place to go for good food, great conversation, and frequent entertainment (open mic nights are especially fun). The place is actually a worker-owned collective, runs some fab-o special events, and opens up a soup kitchen every Monday night. To get a feel for the decorating and the clientele, just think "hippie."

2. Calhoun's - They have the best cheesy bread around. They're also a micro-brewery, so the beer's good. They used to have really good live music, too, but the neighbors got snippy. ;o(

3. The Olive Garden - OK, so we don't actually have a local Garden (are you really surprised I'm breaking the rules?), but there's one where we lived in Pennsylvania, and I loved it. Fresh bread and awesome salad, free wine tasting, lots of carbs and seafood and garlic...all my favorites!

4. Chili's - When I'm feeling a little Mexican, theirs is what I like. Just Mexican enough for me.

This is sad. The only other places I've eaten at locally I can't say I really cared for. So I'm going with hubby's opinion for the last one:

5. Ciro's Italian Restaurant - Excellent subs, apparently, especially the chicken cheesesteaks.

Thanks, Meg. I'm going now to rag on Jason for never taking me out.

Plans for "7th Grade"

2007-06-27T09:15:00.000-04:00

First and foremost, I hate the idea of placing homeschooled kids in grade levels. Grades and classes are ways of organizing groups of children. I have two kids here, so I think I can keep straight what they're doing without having to section them off.

And when you start talking about grade levels for purposes of academic placement (i.e., what level of work the student can handle), then I say the idea is capricious -- every publisher's idea of grade-appropriate material is different from every other curriculum producer.

So I cringe when I say that I'm planning "7th grade" work for Noah. I mean, yes, he would be in 7th grade were he in school. But his work is not going to be what is labelled "7th grade," and materials that are not "grade appropriate" will certainly be used. Homeschooling is about the freedom to learn anything and everything, unhindered by the limits set by grade levels.

The only reason I'm labelling him anything is because I'm thinking ahead to high school and college. I want to make sure he can get everything in according to his own plans for community college/high school (dual enrollment) followed by a year or two of real life, community service, and travel. It's all starting to "matter" as far as colleges are concerned, so my planning is getting more formal (as is Noah's "school time" each day).

So in the spirit of pretending to have my act together, here are my intentions for the upcoming year:

1. Have Noah write his goals for the upcoming year. These are (in his own words):
-Master Algebra
- Read at least 20 books
- Get better at spelling
- Learn more about American history
- Get a lot better at cooking
- Learn to play guitar

II. Create a list of sub-goals, steps needed to achieve main goals.

C. Have Noah create a more specific list to include concrete steps to be taken, materials to be used (if known), and any deadlines for completion. Also have him write what stumbling blocks he may encounter and how he will deal with them. Mom translates these into daily and/or weekly goals.

Quatro: Create a routine to institute to achieve each day's/week's goals. Include one-on-one time with Mom each day that does not include work.

5. Keep paperwork and a journal of activities throughout the year.

OK, you out there: no laughing. I know this sounds crazy. But Noah wants to focus on his academics, and he's asked me to keep him on track.

I'll let you know if we last more than the first week.

“Instead, because of the traditional roles and structure of schools in our society, and in spite of the efforts of many well-meaning individuals within the school system, school is simply yet another place where students have no control, where others’ values are imposed on them, where they are forced to submit to others’ will and yield up their individuality.” ~Holly Graff, former public school teacher, in her resignation letter

~Sheepish Grin~

2007-06-23T21:43:00.000-04:00

Well, shit. I've been snoopin' around the blogosphere a bit, and I'm shocked to find links to this blog in all kinds of crazy places. Nothin' like a little pressure, eh? I guess now that I know people are actually reading what I write, I should --oh, I don't know -- write something.

The thing is, I've had plenty to write about: Noah's best friend moving away for the summer, Aengus actually requesting a haircut, a good friend's family troubles, the *ahem* joy of having your spouse working from home, the complete suckiness of hormones, yada yada yada. And I've had plenty of time on the computer, to boot.

But I have repeatedly found myself playing Destruct-O-Match II on Neopets for my own entertainment instead of writing thought-provoking posts for yours. Call me selfish.

In two weeks I'll be seeing childhood friends for the first time in three years. But I have 10 more pounds to lose, and I'm getting hungry too late in the evening. So I'm shutting down for the night and going to bed, lest the fresh bread I baked wander into my mouth as I sit here. Or those cupcakes. Oooh, no, something salty. Do we have Helluva Good dip around here? Ack! I'm going to bed!

Thanks for checking in; I'll devote a proper amount of time to tomorrow's blog!

And now a little about Aengus...

2007-06-07T12:09:00.000-04:00

It seems that my thoughts are usually consumed with Noah: his education, his moods, his hygiene, his reading habits, his friends. Most of what we choose to do as a family is either because it would be good for Noah or because it's something he wants.

Noah, of course, would claim that everything's always about Aengus. In fact, Noah and I have had volitile discussions about how much I "favor Aengus." Humph. Noah doesn't even realize that he's right: I am favoring one child over the other much of the time. He just doesn't realize it's him I'm usually favoring.

It was about just this subject that I sat down to blog last night. I've been feeling guilty about how little I do for or with Aengus. I mean, he's thriving with this unschooling thing, really, he is. But I wonder if I could be more structured with him if he wanted me to be. Hell, I can barely get my ass outside to push him on the tire swing.

Then, as fate would have it, his body let me know that he needed more attention. He'd been in bed for a couple of hours, I had finished straightening up and checking my email and was about to settle in for an avening of blogging, when--

M-O-O-O-M!

Mad mommy dash up the stairs. Found him wearing just a shirt as he stood crying in the hallway. Now, this is highly unusual, so I knew at a glance that this was more than just another bad dream.

Then. I noticed. The smell.

We went into his room where I found the malodorous source. Apparently the bug that had caused his nausea and vomiting earlier in the week also leads to explosive diarrhea.

Oy.

Not only did this poor kid shit all over his bed (including his beloved stuffed animals), but he also had tried to get to the bathroom and clean up himself, his bed, and the bathroom.

He's six! Guess who gets the Bad Mommy Award this week? In the throes of gastrointestinal chaos, he's concerned about cleaning.

What have I instilled in this child?! It's not like I keep a clean house, or that my kids have been trained to tidy up and keep their rooms pristine. In fact, I always thought of this place as being a bit of a sty, and I can barely keep the bugs at bay. But when the shit literally hit the fan, my baby was worrying about the mess he made.

Bad Mommy. Poor kiddo.

Luckily, I was able to boost his esteem a bit this morning: When he had another incident on the sofa my parents had handed down to us, I told him how I had had diarrhea on that same sofa when I was 15. "So even adults can't help it sometimes, right?" he asked.

Right, kiddo.

School Starts Tomorrow

2007-06-03T23:01:00.000-04:00

I know, I know. Most of you either don't have "school days" separated from "real life days" or are still working on finishing off this year. But on his own Noah has decided to start "next year" now. He took a 3-week Runescape vacation, and tomorrow he's jumping back into schoolwork.

His list of goals for this year are (and I quote): "1) Master Algebra; 2) Read at least 20 books; 3)Get beter at spelling; 4) Learn more about Amarican history; 5) Get a lot beter at cooking." OK, so there's room for improvement. But for Noah, this is astoundingly academic. Bravo!

I have to admit that these last few weeks have seen some leaps in his development. He's still an ass to me sometimes and a complete dick to his brother most of the time and he's one more pissing contest away from a smack-down from Dad. But all that has been balanced lately with bouts of maturity and responsibility. His desire to start schoolwork is part of this; he's been focused on academics and college preparations lately.

Fart jokes one second, college transcripts the next.

All I have to say is this: Unschoolers, be encouraged. Though we only totally unschooled for one year, we have always been more relaxed in our approach to learning. I'm in the Moore's Better-Late-Than-Early camp, so I struggled not to push him along, even though it's eaten me up to have him not interested in anything but video games.

But finally! It's happened: he's ready now for more academic endeavors. Just like all the unschoolers said: "Trust him to learn, and he will." I believe, Lawd, I believe!

Can I get a witness?!

8 Things About Me

2007-06-01T10:08:00.000-04:00

Ok, so what "things" are we talking about here? Things you should know, things you want to know, things you don't already know, or things I want you to know?

Well, there's "thing" number one: I over-analyze everything. Middle child that I am, I see all sides of everything, to my detriment. Tests were hell for me in school. Doesn't mean I'm not opinionated, though.

"Thing" number two: I'm a punk at heart.

Now, I'm not talking about the clothes and hair and music (though I dig all that). I'm talking about questioning authority. I tend to be a pain in most people's ass because I won't just do as I'm asked or told. I always ask, "Why?" or respond, "Make me!" I can't help it!! I don't like being told anything has to be; I see all the possibilities and pursue them when possible. It's some weird instinctive reaction to authority that I see growing in my sons. The audacity.

"Thing" number three: Met my hubby when I was 18. In a bar. Slept with him that first night. Illegal substances were involved. Moved in two weeks later. Been married 16 years.

"Thing" number four: I went on a two-month missionary trip to Ecuador as a teenager. Not a very interesting thing to know about me, unless you also know...

"Thing" number five: I'm not at all religious. Actually, I might even be anti-religion. I stay open to the idea of a god (after all, no one knows until they die what the truth is), and I respect other people's spiritual beliefs (even as I shake my head in disagreement). But religion -especially evangelical Christianity- riles up that punk in me. The childhood that led to all that is quite another post.

Number six: I'm bored with my sex life. Any suggestions? Just no silicon spatulas!

Number seven: I am a frustrated writer. Frustrated with myself, that is. I have confidence in my writing and feel motivated to turn it into a financial venture. Then I read what other "moms" have written or have accomplished, and it makes me wonder what the hell I was thinking. Confidence shot. Overwhelmed by the brilliance of other women or diminished by their sheer numbers, I withdraw into reading a good book instead of writing one. I'm working on this trait.

Number eight...hmmm. Lots of possible "things," none of them interesting. I love books (fiction) and movies (usually blockbusters) and "puttering" around the house (but not cleaning it). I'm dying to travel (I will see those castles and cathedrals in Europe before I die!), would love to build my dream house (who wouldn't?), and I wish we owned a boat (our row boat does NOT count). I miss the shopping and quaintness of my hometown but never want to leave my friends here. The things I love most are Harry Potter, my family, and my friends. I won't say in what order. ;o)

Not sure who to tag next, since I'm new to blogging and don't know many people. Sending this to Paige (http://abeautifulchild.blogspot.com/) and Meg (http://getinhangon.homeschooljournal.net).

Natural Learners of the Shenandoah Valley

2007-05-22T21:21:00.000-04:00

Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

~Edgar Allan Poe

This poem was one of my favorites as a teen. It totally summed up life for me: I saw things differently, perceived things differently, reacted to things differently. I was just different. I was proud to be who I was and was adamant that I be true to myself at all costs, a' la Walt Whitman. Problem is, that left me...well, alone.

When I began homeschooling in Lancaster County (PA), I joined a community of people who were conservative, religious, and bigoted, and they felt that they were right in being that way. I admired their moral fortitude, but I disagreed to my core with those morals. This new community put on a happy face when they welcomed me, but I was still different and felt alone in the world. As a friend put it, people looked at me like I was a three-headed squirrel. I just didn't fit.

Even when I tracked down the small underground of "inclusive" homeschoolers in that area, I was the oddball for not being "crunchy granola" enough. I was still different. And I was still alone. The three-headed squirrel strikes again.

Then I moved to Virginia. I can't say that I'm a Southerner at heart; I didn't get here as fast as I could, to paraphrase the bumper sticker. I came kicking and screaming. I still long for the "city life" I had in Lancaster County. But I feel as if I've finally found my community down here: Natural Learners of the Shenandoah Valley (NLSV).

It's not just that NLSV'ers are homeschoolers like my own family. It's not just that our children all play video games together, and sleepover at each other's houses on weekday nights, and trade YuGiOh cards with younger siblings, and go to concerts and movies together. And it's not just that my friends and I share similar approaches to parenting. That's all a fantastic part of this community, and some of the reasons that I love it so much.

But what makes NLSV my community are the women here. They are the most loving, supportive, and understanding people I know, and you won't find a higher concentration of smarts anywhere else on the planet. They are creative, fun, and open-minded. We brag to each other about our kids and ship them to each other when we need a break. I am both amazed and humbled by their mothering abilities. I can joke openly with them, share a drink (or ten!) with them, swear if I want to, and comment freely about the merits of Dan Radcliffe's abs or Brad Pitt's ass.

Homeschooler or not, each of us is "different" in some way; I've finally found a community that celebrates those differences. In this group, you can be a three-headed squirrel, as long as you don't mind the purple elephants.

So these days, I'm still different and loving it. Only now, I'm not so alone.

How do you start a blog with a bang?

2007-05-19T16:37:00.000-04:00

Why, start with a crisis instead of an intro, of course.

Noah says he hates it here at home and he needs to get out for a while. How did that happen?

I've done so many things differently from my parents, yet my son seems to be going down the same path I travelled 20 years ago. Why? More importantly: Is it too late to fix the situation?

Stop. Rewind two days.

Noah spent the night at a friend's house. As usual, he came home grumpy the next day and was snapping at me and his brother. So I told him to knock it off, and if sleepovers do this to him (and they do, every time), then he just needs to stop having sleepovers. We don't deserve the adolescent venom he spews as a result, right?

Well, according to him, we do. His brother apparently eggs him on, and I always side with this Aengus. "Always." And "Did you ever think I'm so grumpy when I come home is because I had to come home?!"

OK, that's outta nowhere. Now, my instinctive response is that this is lack of sleep coupled with 12-year-old hormones and the anger genes that run in his (my) family. Deep cleansing breaths, Adesa. So my verbal response was, "Explain it to me."

Be a good Mom. Don't yell. Don't react emotionally.

Noah proceeded to tell me how his brother (6 years his junior) is "always" getting away with crap and yelling at Noah and just generally starting fights.

Oh boy. If I point out to Noah that he's the one I "always" catch doing those exact things, he'll really go over the edge.

Listen to him. Agreement is irrelevent. He has something to say, and something obviously needs to be changed here.

So we talked it out, and I think we came to some changes we can all make to tweak our family dynamic. For starters, I have to be more "present" with the boys (another post, another "bad mom" moment) so I can give Noah more attention and correct Aengus's problem behaviors when they happen. Noah resolved to use a kinder tone of voice, and I talked with Aengus about doing the same.

But of course, we all immediately returned to our pattern. Try as I might to ignore snappishness and not wake the dragon in him, Noah's comments to his brother quickly devolved back into the nastiness we've gotten used to around here. I just can't let poor Aengus take it, but if I say anything to Noah about it, I'm "siding with Aengus" again. Sigh. Why can a loving parent never do it right?

I really thought being more buddy-like and open with him would keep this puberty monster at bay. Guess I was wrong. I know being home together so much isn't to blame; after all, I was quite the teenage bitch to my parents, and I hardly ever saw them. I just hope he grows out of this sooner rather than later. Lest I strangle him.

For those who don't know us: music is big in the 'hood. Everything has a theme song, and we frequently insert background music into our conversations. I think I found my new theme song for Noah's adolescent years from Bowling for Soup:

"You're a bitch, but I love you anyway..."