How do you start a blog with a bang?

Why, start with a crisis instead of an intro, of course.

Noah says he hates it here at home and he needs to get out for a while. How did that happen?

I've done so many things differently from my parents, yet my son seems to be going down the same path I travelled 20 years ago. Why? More importantly: Is it too late to fix the situation?

Stop. Rewind two days.

Noah spent the night at a friend's house. As usual, he came home grumpy the next day and was snapping at me and his brother. So I told him to knock it off, and if sleepovers do this to him (and they do, every time), then he just needs to stop having sleepovers. We don't deserve the adolescent venom he spews as a result, right?

Well, according to him, we do. His brother apparently eggs him on, and I always side with this Aengus. "Always." And "Did you ever think I'm so grumpy when I come home is because I had to come home?!"

OK, that's outta nowhere. Now, my instinctive response is that this is lack of sleep coupled with 12-year-old hormones and the anger genes that run in his (my) family. Deep cleansing breaths, Adesa. So my verbal response was, "Explain it to me."

Be a good Mom. Don't yell. Don't react emotionally.

Noah proceeded to tell me how his brother (6 years his junior) is "always" getting away with crap and yelling at Noah and just generally starting fights.

Oh boy. If I point out to Noah that he's the one I "always" catch doing those exact things, he'll really go over the edge.

Listen to him. Agreement is irrelevent. He has something to say, and something obviously needs to be changed here.

So we talked it out, and I think we came to some changes we can all make to tweak our family dynamic. For starters, I have to be more "present" with the boys (another post, another "bad mom" moment) so I can give Noah more attention and correct Aengus's problem behaviors when they happen. Noah resolved to use a kinder tone of voice, and I talked with Aengus about doing the same.

But of course, we all immediately returned to our pattern. Try as I might to ignore snappishness and not wake the dragon in him, Noah's comments to his brother quickly devolved back into the nastiness we've gotten used to around here. I just can't let poor Aengus take it, but if I say anything to Noah about it, I'm "siding with Aengus" again. Sigh. Why can a loving parent never do it right?

I really thought being more buddy-like and open with him would keep this puberty monster at bay. Guess I was wrong. I know being home together so much isn't to blame; after all, I was quite the teenage bitch to my parents, and I hardly ever saw them. I just hope he grows out of this sooner rather than later. Lest I strangle him.

For those who don't know us: music is big in the 'hood. Everything has a theme song, and we frequently insert background music into our conversations. I think I found my new theme song for Noah's adolescent years from Bowling for Soup:

"You're a bitch, but I love you anyway..."