Curriculum Shit

So quiet around here...

Aengus is an exuberant guy, yet the house still seems so quiet without Noah. Who knew that a kid who spends his day in his room or playing on the computer could leave such a palpable silence with his absence?

I know I should have been planning curriculum while he's been away. I just can't find it in me to think "school." I don't know if I still have summer on the brain, or the unschooling thing was so much to my thinking that I can't get out of it. Either way, I need to find a way to at least fake enthusiasm, 'cause Noah wants to do more formal, structured work this year.

We have the books to continue with Pre-Algebra, Geography, Grammar, and Literature. We can manage History with the library. He's got his guitar for music, with help from the internet and the library. Don't know what to do about writing. And though I have plenty of science books, I've never been good at actually doing experiments. So, I'm hoping we can put together a class at the local college using one of their Physics or Chemistry majors as an instructor. Oh, and Noah's signed up for Lego League, which is a fantastic opportunity (covering many subjects).

Problem is, once I get my act together and organize this stuff, I still have to find a way to pay for the science and Lego League. And guitar lessons. But I have no money. We're not sure yet how we're paying our bills this month (or next, for that matter), let alone buying extras like curriculum. Or food.

Ugh.

I hate being broke. I realized it was high time for me to find a paying job: The kids are more self-sufficient, and hubby's working from home, so the one-car thing isn't an issue anymore. But the places I've applied haven't even called me back. I don't get that -- I've always gotten every job I've applied for. Not to get even a call-back has me wondering what I did wrong on my applications. Or if maybe my last formal job being in 1998 might be a hindrance. I wonder if I should add the childcare work I did since then? But it's not like I'm trying to get into highly-competitive positions here. We're talking retail and food service, people. The damn college kids came back and took all the jobs, I suppose.

Sigh. Until I get a job, I think all fun --and eating-- will be on hold. And Christmas is coming. Again.

OK, I've thoroughly depressed myself now. Need more coffee. Damn, it's weak today. Maybe that's my trouble.