I'm trying hard to think of a post for my other blog. But what did my kids do yesterday? I know they learned something, I just can't put my finger on anything educational. Aengus wasn't really here much, though I know he did a lot on his camping trip. I can certainly come up with something for him. It's Noah I'm worried about.
What did he do yesterday? What does he do any day? All I can think of is what he doesn't do. He doesn't read, he doesn't write, he doesn't work on any math; he doesn't even watch educational TV anymore. He plays his guitar (good) and Runescape (good, but I think he's gotten about as much out of it educationally as he can). He watches videos on YouTube (I think a lot of music videos, so that's good) and emails his friends (OK, so that's socialization and writing).
I guess I've answered my own question: he actually is doing stuff. But it's what he doesn't do that has me concerned. I feel he should know more about history, should be able to express ideas on paper in a somewhat coherent and organized fashion, should be able to manipulate numbers beyond multiplication and division.
But all that will come in time, I suppose. Wait it out, Adesa. Every time I've gotten worried about academics in the past, it's always been a matter of waiting for his interest and maturity to catch up to my goals for him. And eventually, it all kicks in.
Wait it out, Adesa.
For now, what we need to work on is his work ethic. I'm very concerned that he's learned about the value of work from his mother, who never met an excuse she didn't like. I jokingly refer to him as "Half-Ass Hafford," but... well, the name fits. Not his fault, like I said: he learned it all from me. But I'm really getting worried that what was just a habit is becoming Who He Is. And no matter what he does with his life, he'll need to work hard at it. Motivation he can find on his own; determination must be cultivated.
I think that this is one of those dilemmas that all parents face, unschooling or not: to change (mold? guide?) our children or let them be who they are, despite the potential problems we see? To what extent do I try to step in and affect this path he's on? He is who he is, and I respect that. I don't want to impose my own ideas on him. And I really don't want him to get the message that he's not good enough just they way he is. I love him completely, lazy or not.
But I also don't want him to be a 30-year-old man who lives with his mom because he can't keep a job. Even worse, I don't want his future family to suffer financially (the way we have) because I didn't teach him better habits.
But how does a lazy person teach industriousness?
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3 comments:
My dad (who also never met an excuse he didn't like -- I come by it naturally) used to say "half an ass is better than a whole ass."
I struggle with the same dilemmas -- especially when we have days -- or weeks -- where it seems the older kids do NOTHING but sit on their asses. If they can someday make a living surfing Netflix and Amazon for reviews or playing car crash games and sorting YuGiOh cards ... they're set. :-)
Maybe later I can think of something helpful (or at least coherent) to say. If I do -- do you mind if I link to this post on *my* blog? Or is this blog semi-private?
Meanwhile, all I want to say is that I've been observing Noah from a distance (without knowing him well) for 4 years -- and I think he has really blossomed. He seems much happier and more confident, he has grown socially by leaps and bounds -- not to mention his conversion to being a musician. :-) Often when a person is growing and *becoming* in important areas, growth in other areas has to wait.
The work ethic question ... oy!oy!oy! If only I had some insight on THAT one.
Link away, my friend. I offer no solutions to any parent who visits here, but lots of commiseration. ;o)
I've been pondering this a bit, and I think my first step needs to be my own exercise program. We were *all* much more active and energetic when I was working out.
Not to mention how much my ass has been jiggling lately...
Has your ass been jiggling? *LOL*
I am on the same track. I just started exercising again, and Sarah is exercising with me.
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