Six Things Meme

I done been tagged, and I think this one's a good meme. It could keep me writing for hours! ;o) I won't be tagging anyone else, since I don't know too many bloggers, but feel free to jump in!

Steph says I should tell the people 6 things they don't know about me. Just six, Steph?

1) I share Steph's phone phobia. It's not a fear so much as an extreme discomfort. Much like poor money management skills, I believe this phone repulsion is a closeted characteristic with which many people suffer, and it needs to be addressed, publicly, once and for all. We who suffer from it must swallow our embarrassment, raise our keyboards, and SHOUT through the blogoshphere that we will no longer be shamed by our inexplicable avoidance of today's accoutrement of choice.

2) My mother's main goal for my upbringing was for me to graduate high school without becoming pregnant. To that end, she refused to discuss birth control ("You will NOT have sex"), and I ended up with a near miss. Whoever is in charge here knew I couldn't step up to that kind of responsibility, and I had a miscarriage. But I was so woefully undereducated about all things sexual that I had to ask my mother what was happening to me. Oy. That was NOT a fun conversation.

3) I pick. At my kids, my husband, at anyone who disagrees with me. At my nails, at my scabs, at a spot on the wall or a thread on the sofa. Can't just let anything GO.

4) I secretly yearn for an encounter with another man. I have several in mind, none of whom would hold a candle to my own husband, but still... it's my one fantasy.

Want the list? Here goes: Dan from high school (OK, he might actually make a good life partner), Mark the Marine (I'll tell you that story another time), Dan Radcliffe (but only if he's scruffy and his hair is zhoozhed, like on the Details magazine cover), Hunter Parrish (Silas on Weeds... I am LOVING the storyline with him and the neighbor boy's mom!!!), and Drake Bell (holy hell, get me away from children's programming already!).

5) As the above list testifies, I have been experiencing a bit of a mid-life crisis. How long are these things supposed to last, anyway? It's been about six years now, and I'm ready for it to be over. And by over, I mean "twenty-seven again."

6) Back when Jason and I were first living together, we were dirt poor. I know, I know: you'd think that after almost twenty years together, we'd have made some progress. Ah, but we have! Because back then, when we needed cash, we visited the priest at the Catholic church in the city. For forty bucks -- cold, hard cash, straight outta the collection plate -- all Jason had to do was take off his glasses and pretend he was watching Father John masturbate. With some other young guys, since an audience of one was not enough, I guess.

Us girls? We got to eat the cookies leftover from Sunday School. Good deal all around.

Luckily, it's been a LONG time since we've been that poor. But in case gas prices don't come down anymore... Do any of you know of any clergymen with unfulfilled needs?